Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Fraud - Cheating & Playing on desperate people's feelings

Don't be cheated, no matter how desperately you wish for a baby to adopt!

I saw the advertisement on one of the pages online, and copied the whole ad (sob story of unpaid rent and no money for doctor check-ups worth a few K) and wrote an email to this supposedly 'pregnant girl', though I do suspect she is actually a 'he' and the pregnant mother never existed.

The ad was posted on July 2, 2012. I emailed on July 9, 2012. I got a reply 5 hours later. For someone who has no money, it is amazing they still have internet access, eh?

I was feeling quite down and the No.1 thing that I am hoping for most fervently as those who have been following my blog for quite some time would know, yes, is to have my own child. My hormones have settled down after a few hours (yeah, my 'down time' lasts only several hours at most) and now my rational mind is trying to make sense of the story. It is obviously a case where RM8k is the 'minimum' price to pay UPFRONT!

There is no guarantee there is a baby in the end. You can kiss your RM8k good bye the moment you believe in it and pass the money to this guy, with pregnant mother or otherwise.

So please, don't commit by paying up front payments, it is considered buying and selling if you do that, you are only encouraging fraud and baby trafficking, so please, be patient, go through proper channel and yes, wish and hope and pray if you believe in the power of prayers.

In one of my 'down times' when the hormones surged too high or dipped too low, which doesn't happen that much lately, the maternal instinct tugged and pulled inside me, hence I went online and keyed in various keywords, looking for Baby For Adoption/Child For Adoption.

I looked on with envy when I see Americans (US citizens) are provided with International adoption agencies and even our neighbouring Singapore has their own adoption agency (which also caters for international adoption!), as compared to Malaysia - there is no official adoption agency, only the Social Welfare Department and the only baby hatch in Malaysia, Orphancare (orphancare.org).

The rest who help unwed mothers like shelters by various non-governmental organisations (NGO) does not make adoption their main priority, most of the girls chose to raise their babies after giving birth and only a small percentage gives up their baby for adoption.

However, there is a page on facebook that is started by a good soul to save unwanted babies from infanticide, there are many cases of baby dumping, most of the babies did not survive and it is the saddest thing for many to see the news reporting yet another baby dumping case. In this part of the world, it is still a social stigma for unmarried woman to be pregnant. To help save these innocent souls, Anak Angkat Untuk Dibela (AAUD) was started by a group of admin who worked closely with the Social Welfare Department (Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat) and they cater only to Malaysians who are Muslims.

I am a non-Muslim, and I don't qualify even though I am a Malaysian, so why am I highlighting them? In Malaysia, a non-Muslim adult can only adopt a non-Muslim child up to the age of 18. A Muslim adult/couple can adopt both Muslim and non-Muslim children, to protect the sanctity of Islam as the official religion of Malaysia. It's part of the constitution hence we are known as an Islamic country, but not all Malaysians are Muslims nor Malays, which is the common misconception of the world towards Malaysia.

Anyway, I digress. I feel that such a good cause is worth highlighting. On the basis of saving innocent lives and giving joy to potential parents who are really hoping and wishing for a child to love. Thumbs up for such a noble cause!

I know that the Indian community have their own private NGO, Christian-missionary-related shelters for girls, and Buddhist Welfare Homes and Shelters are available but the wait list for adoption, which isn't their main priority is very long.

We made it to a waiting list of one of those and it has been over a year, and still waiting. Someone we know have been on the wait list for years and in the end, they opted for private adoption (de facto adoption) where they deal directly with the birth mother.

Congratulations to adoptive parents who finally have a bundle of joy to call their own.

To all those who are still hoping and wishing, like me, just keep in mind that in our 'desperation' for a baby, do not fall prey to cheaters or those who are just out to fleece you of your hard earned money. Remember if they are sincere (ikhlas in BM), they will not rob you in broad daylight because raising a child is not cheap nowadays - milk formula, diapers, insurance, education, etc. If they are thinking for the good of their baby, they will not act so unreasonably. If they are, either they are really selfish or they mean to make 'profit' from the 'transaction' - that is when it becomes baby trafficking, and it is illegal.

Food for thought.

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