Thursday 25 June 2015

MID YEAR CRISIS

Our family is currently (June 2015) in the midst of a crisis.. our youngest sister is critically ill and has been admitted into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and her condition has worsened since her first admission only days before.
There is no medicines for her condition and the only thing the medical team can do is to take her blood for testing to monitor the level of her blood and as of now her liver is at high risk for liver failure (worst case scenario) or other complications to her internal organs.. you don't get admitted into ICU if it is not critical so that is the gravity of the situation.
If you are reading this... I humbly plea for a short prayer for my sister Abby so that she may be granted with the strength to be able to fight and get well soon.
She has just gotten married 6 months ago and has only started out in life. And the prospect of losing my baby sister is a daunting one.
Watching my parents emotionally collapse when her condition deteriorated yesterday, I steeled myself up inside. I had to be strong. I will be no use if I falter now.
The first day she was transferred from a private hospital into the ambulance to the emergency of the government hospital where they are better equipped and better trained to deal with severe critical cases like hers, we did not think she would be so... we were very optimistic that she will get well soon.
Only 2 months ago when my parents were out of town and her husband was outstation for work training, she called me for help as she was terribly unwell and I handled her hospitalisation and visited her daily, lunch and dinner and finally her husband returned and took over and she got over it. This time round... instead of showing signs of recovery... she has consistently deteriorated.. with each 6 hourly blood test we are beside ourselves.. nervously waiting for the latest results.
TRADITIONAL REMEDIES
Friends have shown concerned and asked for updates. For that we are thankful.
Some are helpful and offered advices and remedies which our dear mother religiously gathered the ingredients to the extent of begging from the gardens of strangers.. our mother, bless her heart, got them all and each meal.. breakfast.. lunch.. dinner...she brings over to my sister with the boiled remedies with hope she can take a few sips and keep them down and not vomit them all out... my sister can hardly keep her liquid or food down and for her not to vomit anything ingested is a small victory each time.
ALONE TIME
Since my sister is in good hands in ICU and her husband is at her side, I dragged myself to the gym at which we are both enrolled in. The picture is her hairband which I carried with me when she needed us to keep her stuff for her as there are no spaces to store your belongings at the ICU. I wore her band as if it was like the old times when we work out at the gym. The concerned ladies coaches asked about Abby.. and all of them sent their best regards to her and wish her speedy recovery... one initiated the process of holding her membership for a month so she would not be charged. Bless their heart.
HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?
I always find it easier to write out my thoughts to sort them out and put things in perspective.
Friends have been asking how am I holding up. My husband has been asking if I am okay.
Honestly I feel numb... it all felt so surreal.
A routine visit to my sister's ward at a normal ward turned out to be critical and the ambulance rush.. the siren... the emergency department.. staying at emergency department for some 7 hours waited another 2 hours before I was truly sure that her condition is well taken care of by the nurses at ICU... sleeping at 3am and waking up hours later to play with my son cos I felt guilty for not kissing him goodnight... and more hospital visits.. and finally today where I have yet to visit my sister.
It is sort of like 2012 when a routine visit to the hospital with my late mother in law saw her being detained in emergency department for hours while a bed is being cleared for her... it is like a similar roller coaster ride only at a different time and with different fellow riders.
Tears have not come yet. Fears that crop up are being brushed aside and suppressed each time they surface. I guess my defence mechanism is kicking in full gear.. denial stage.. I cannot cry, I gotta be strong, I need to harden up myself. I find myself doing it all over again... with my mother in law...and now with my sister.
Let there be healing for my sister... and also all who may be critically ill now
I only have one sister and I really hope she can fight and get through this....
Who cares about the details when you are lying down in ICU and critically ill with the numbers deteriorating with each test...
may what should be up is up and what should be down is down in all her results.
WE SHALL UPDATE AS AND WHEN WE SEE FIT AS IT IS AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER FOR US AS A FAMILY. WE APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN BUT PRAYERS AND POSITIVE VIBES SENT TO OUR SISTER ABBY is more apt in situation like this than questions about the details. The numbers are changing as we are speaking so the general aim now is for her to get well. I believe in the power of prayer and collective positive mental energy channeled to the sick.
There is no meds and it is up to her to fight it.