Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Year End Post

It is year end again.
Lots have happened this year. 2015 had been an eventful year with lots of tears, grief, disappointment and frustration but we have learned to rise from all that and manage a smile, laugh about it and holds a hope that 2016 will be an even better year.

Lots have been accomplished and lots have given way for other priorities.

May 2016 be kinder to all of us and the world. Peace

Saturday, 4 July 2015


JULY 4, 2015 (continuation from earlier blog post

Today (July 3) is a glorious day ... after 10 nights in ICU (and the earlier 2 nights in a private hospital) our sister Abby is finally transferred out from ICU to a normal ward.

As she had fasciotomy performed to save her limb (left arm), her entire arm is of no use at the moment.. the doctor has not ascertained the exact extent of the dead muscles but we are told she still has enough muscles left to regain most use of her left arm, if not 100%... the road ahead will be a slow and painful one for her as she struggle with relearning how to move and use her left arm. She can barely clench her fingers now and she cannot unflex her grasp without the help of her right hand.

She still needs to be hospitalised as the doctor needed to perform further operations on her and they are leaving the wound open, mostly unstitched as that is usually what fasciotomy is and it shall be a few more weeks for her at the hospital and then some more weeks of medical leave until she is fit enough to go back to work.. driving will be a problem.. but she shall have us by her side at every juncture of the journey.

We are thankful for all prayers and well wishes from all. We truly are grateful and glad we still have Abby with us and most importantly she is going to live to celebrate her 30th birthday in August.

Her internal organs are out of danger (hence the transfer out from ICU) and her blood levels are back to normal, well, almost normal.
And yes.. her initial diagnosis was dengue fever which she has contracted the second time in 6 years and neither of the remedies worked... not papaya leaf juice.. young papaya fruit sap.. crabs soup and flesh... not frog with bitter gourd.. not this not that.. we have literally tried everything up till her platlets dropped to below critical to dangerously low below 15.

What helped were constant blood transfusion alternating with platelet transfusions and lots of prayer and positive thoughts sent her way. She was drifting in and out of consciousness as her organs were under attack, especially her liver, which caused her blood to not be like us normal people hence causing compartment syndrome.

If you see the link above.. it must be performed within 6 hours of it happening yet Abby only had it done after 2 days as her blood works were not good enough for surgery or else she will risk excessive bleeding to death. Hence the death of her muscles. She is very lucky in the sense that they didn't have to sacrifice her arm in order to save her life, i.e. amputation after allowing the arm to die. She saw the scar this morning when they were doing dressing and it was depressing  but she quickly forced herself to accept the scar and the still open wound as part of her now. We are so proud of how brave she is.

Doctors said her condition was very critical where mortality rate is high especially with an almost definite mortality for the very young or very old... and we were right to fear her death. She fought and won and for that we are truly thankful.
If she is to get dengue the third time it will be even more dangerous. She is renting with her husband at a landed property, single storey terrace house now. My parents are persuading them to move to higher floors, i.e. condominiums when she is discharged but we shall cross the bridge when we come there.

Her husband also contracted dengue at the same time and recovered quickly within a week with lots of 100Plus and rest at home. No need for the remedies, etc. We were quite taken aback by some well wishes who vehemently preached certain remedies and implied that our mother had not tried hard enough to save her. God knows how much we tried and to what extent our dear mother has tried for her youngest daughter to the extent of begging for the ingredients from the gardens of strangers.

At our most worrying and trying times, it got too much for our parents to even answer phone calls or reply to messages on whatsapp or even meet and talk with another person... each time they relate to an individual about our sister's condition, they will be sad and tears tend to fall.. imagine you have 100 enquiries and you need to cry 100 times... it was really emotionally taxing.. if your queries went unanswered during that period, we are truly sorry but for our sanity and to keep things together... we needed to shut out the world for awhile.

With Abby's life out of danger now, our family can now sleep soundly for the first time in nearly 2 weeks.

AGAIN, THANK YOU for your support and we believe every prayer counts in her recovery. With every worst scenario that was presented to us, many u-turns were provided that somehow our sister managed to scrap through with the slightest margin.. and we were met with much kindness, many sympathetic nurses and doctors, much support from every one, most who have never known Abby personally and many who donated blood to replenish the hospital's blood bank for the general good, and the many prayers and well wishes from everyone whom we may not be able to name one by one... from the bottom of our hearts.. thank you. We saw the true human spirit and have not lost hope with humanity. We are truly blessed. Thank you for the help and prayers rendered from people from multiracial and multireligious backgrounds or denominations. We saw religious tolerance at its best when it is a matter of life and death.



p/s- Aedes mosquito breeding grounds must be eliminated... Dengue is very real and it really can kill.
I would not wish this upon anyone or for any family to go through the grief or heartache of this illness.. And there is still no medicine for this. Forget the traditional remedies.. seek treatment from the government hospital immediately and get your blood tests done. My sister was initially rejected a blood test from a 24 hour clinic near our are in Setapak, we are still contemplating if we should pursue further action with that clinic with two very sarcastic locum doctors (visited twice in two consecutive evenings). Go straight to a hospital if you display the symptoms of dengue which may include high or low grade fever with extreme pain on your bones and joints and a terrible splitting headache and lethargy.

May all beings be well and happy.
Sabbe Satta Bhavantu Sukhitatha.

Thursday, 25 June 2015


Our family is currently (June 2015) in the midst of a crisis.. our youngest sister is critically ill and has been admitted into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and her condition has worsened since her first admission only days before.
There is no medicines for her condition and the only thing the medical team can do is to take her blood for testing to monitor the level of her blood and as of now her liver is at high risk for liver failure (worst case scenario) or other complications to her internal organs.. you don't get admitted into ICU if it is not critical so that is the gravity of the situation.
If you are reading this... I humbly plea for a short prayer for my sister Abby so that she may be granted with the strength to be able to fight and get well soon.
She has just gotten married 6 months ago and has only started out in life. And the prospect of losing my baby sister is a daunting one.
Watching my parents emotionally collapse when her condition deteriorated yesterday, I steeled myself up inside. I had to be strong. I will be no use if I falter now.
The first day she was transferred from a private hospital into the ambulance to the emergency of the government hospital where they are better equipped and better trained to deal with severe critical cases like hers, we did not think she would be so... we were very optimistic that she will get well soon.
Only 2 months ago when my parents were out of town and her husband was outstation for work training, she called me for help as she was terribly unwell and I handled her hospitalisation and visited her daily, lunch and dinner and finally her husband returned and took over and she got over it. This time round... instead of showing signs of recovery... she has consistently deteriorated.. with each 6 hourly blood test we are beside ourselves.. nervously waiting for the latest results.
Friends have shown concerned and asked for updates. For that we are thankful.
Some are helpful and offered advices and remedies which our dear mother religiously gathered the ingredients to the extent of begging from the gardens of strangers.. our mother, bless her heart, got them all and each meal.. breakfast.. lunch.. dinner...she brings over to my sister with the boiled remedies with hope she can take a few sips and keep them down and not vomit them all out... my sister can hardly keep her liquid or food down and for her not to vomit anything ingested is a small victory each time.
Since my sister is in good hands in ICU and her husband is at her side, I dragged myself to the gym at which we are both enrolled in. The picture is her hairband which I carried with me when she needed us to keep her stuff for her as there are no spaces to store your belongings at the ICU. I wore her band as if it was like the old times when we work out at the gym. The concerned ladies coaches asked about Abby.. and all of them sent their best regards to her and wish her speedy recovery... one initiated the process of holding her membership for a month so she would not be charged. Bless their heart.
I always find it easier to write out my thoughts to sort them out and put things in perspective.
Friends have been asking how am I holding up. My husband has been asking if I am okay.
Honestly I feel numb... it all felt so surreal.
A routine visit to my sister's ward at a normal ward turned out to be critical and the ambulance rush.. the siren... the emergency department.. staying at emergency department for some 7 hours waited another 2 hours before I was truly sure that her condition is well taken care of by the nurses at ICU... sleeping at 3am and waking up hours later to play with my son cos I felt guilty for not kissing him goodnight... and more hospital visits.. and finally today where I have yet to visit my sister.
It is sort of like 2012 when a routine visit to the hospital with my late mother in law saw her being detained in emergency department for hours while a bed is being cleared for her... it is like a similar roller coaster ride only at a different time and with different fellow riders.
Tears have not come yet. Fears that crop up are being brushed aside and suppressed each time they surface. I guess my defence mechanism is kicking in full gear.. denial stage.. I cannot cry, I gotta be strong, I need to harden up myself. I find myself doing it all over again... with my mother in law...and now with my sister.
Let there be healing for my sister... and also all who may be critically ill now
I only have one sister and I really hope she can fight and get through this....
Who cares about the details when you are lying down in ICU and critically ill with the numbers deteriorating with each test...
may what should be up is up and what should be down is down in all her results.
WE SHALL UPDATE AS AND WHEN WE SEE FIT AS IT IS AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER FOR US AS A FAMILY. WE APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN BUT PRAYERS AND POSITIVE VIBES SENT TO OUR SISTER ABBY is more apt in situation like this than questions about the details. The numbers are changing as we are speaking so the general aim now is for her to get well. I believe in the power of prayer and collective positive mental energy channeled to the sick.
There is no meds and it is up to her to fight it.

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

2015 so far


SO much for 2015.

Hope the next half will be okay for everyone.