Saturday, 31 December 2011

Year End Reflection - last post for 2011

It is amazing how fast our brain cells connect. As I lay in bed, with a dizzy spell with a hint of nausea, nope, not pregnant or anything like that YET, my mind quickly travelled back to 1984, early of the year during Chinese New Year. I was at my paternal grandparents house and my grandma was still alive then (she passed away in 1985).

The reason that piece of memory jumped out from the internal brain data search is because my feeling of being unwell now reminds me of how I felt nauseated after my aunt gave me plain water to drink, I asked for a second glass cos I was thirsty and I puked my gut out shortly after that and deemed sick by the adults. Lying in sick bed is not fun at all especially during celebration time.

Beloved hubby is now at my parents' place, lovingly packing dinner from my mother's kitchen for me. My sweet sweet husband.

I count my blessings and am happy with who I have around me, my family and friends and I am not in dire need of material things or hunger for love and attention and my health, despite the minor ailments, I'm generally healthy. Looking at my blessings make me contented and tone down any feelings of envy inside. Humans tend to compare with those who seem better off, that's human nature isn't it?

Of course a perpetual resolve to try to conceive (TTC), is a yearly 'resolution' I try to make to achieve and here I am still childless, at the end of 2011. I am exactly two years past my personal deadline to have a baby by 2009. Deadlines don't work this way, you don't go against fate, or the Malay will say you cannot force blessings or 'rezeki' to be showered upon you. Anyway, my journey of TTC continues to 2012.

I tried to look at the Positive side of being childless for years and finally I am making progress. I am trying to enjoy not having a little bundle of joy around, we can concentrate on our twosome time and trips together, the late night movies and all without having to worry about babysitting. Well at least that's a consolation, right? :)

Happy New Year everyone! If the world is really gonna end next year, let's embrace 2012 and live each day as if it's our last, Live Life to the Fullest!!! Have a blessed year. :)