Saturday, 18 June 2016
Before I become too tired due to night feedings and forget the feelings of anticipation and joy that your birth brings to us let me write this future letter to you meant to be read by myself on your one-monthaversary on June 17, 2016, which is also near mama and papa's engagement anniversary.
Your birth on May 17, 2016, came as a surprise as we were not expecting your arrival till early June.
You are one eager beaver to see the world just like me your mama and your elder brother Ray.
You are so precious, you are so wonderful, you are so so so so so wanted and loved. Remember that my darling baby girl.
Your birth has been so much anticipated. I love you so much, after I had your brother Ray I thought my heart could not contain all the love I felt for a little human being that is such a strong feeling I could cry just being soaked in the feeling of love... now with your arrival, it is totally amazing our heart could open up even more to extend the love to even a bigger emotion and there really is no limit to love, we love you so very much.
May you grow up to be as noble as your name as what your mama want you to be and be as compassionate as your name and most of all be as happy and joyful as what your father would want you to be.
We love you baby girl, all of us in the family. xoxo
Saturday, 4 June 2016
Today would have been your godmother's birthday, Godma Val is turning 36 on June 4th. It would be nice for you to be born on the same date, then you two can celebrate your birthdays together.
It is really deja vu because I wrote the same for your elder brother Ray before he was born and it was near your other godmother Khaima Pei's birthday. But as fate would have it, he decided to come out way earlier than that.
I hope you won't pull a stunt like your brother and surprising us with your early arrival but just come out safely and in due time dear baby girl.
Know that we love you very much.
Mama, Papa and korkor Ray.
Friday, 15 April 2016
One question I used to ask when I was still a school girl was Why can't female teachers in Malaysia wear pants to work?
I think it is some sort of a code of dressing left behind and still being practiced since the Colonial times. It has been more than 50 years since Independence, Malaysia. Time to relook and reconsider this dress code?
I remember fondly of the two years I spent as a Sixth Former in my pre-U days at St Joseph Secondary School in Kuching, Sarawak... The pride of La Salle in Borneo. The female teachers are allowed to wear pants.
The term who wears the pants also mean who is in control and have a say in deciding stuff so I guess not being allowed to wear pants may stem from a lack of gender equality as well. That is a whole different topic altogether so I won't delve into that.
But hello it is 2016 already ... Mengapa guru wanita tidak boleh memakai seluar panjang sebagai pakaian rasmi semasa bertugas?
With the fiasco on social media last year concerning our national Gold Medalist Gymnast Farah Ann Abdul Hadi who won six medals including two gold at the SEA games focusing on the V-line of her leotard instead of her gold victory speaks volumes about just how petty and archaic-thinking SOME of my fellow countrymen are. So I rest my case.
All opinions are expressed from my own personal view which you may agree or not agree but each to their own. I would like to clarify that I come from a family of Teachers and headmistress and principals. My baby sister is still a teacher in a government national school. So I do know what I am talking about. You don't have to agree. #peace
Thursday, 31 March 2016
It has been 9 years since my grandpa passed on and 3 years since my mother-in-law passed on. Sometimes tears come. Sometimes the heart just feels numb. Memories are highlighted in fragments. You find yourself keep reliving the memories, good and bad over and over again, and you catch yourself looking on with nostalgia at old photographs.
The desperate clinging on to every single memory that you can keep in mind is further reinforced by the clinging of the few possessions that you still keep.
I panicked when the blouse I kept with mommy's scent lost its scent when I reached out to it and smelt it after so long... I tried imagining the smell is still there but it is just gone.. another part of mommy lost...but the smell is committed into memory.
I still call my late mom-in-law "Mommy". I still call my grandpa "Gong Gong".
I was sitting down in Singapore one day and I whiffed a scent of his favourite Brylcream haircream and I half expected him to be near me. Instead I saw an old man of Chinese descent, dressed in a similar style as Gong Gong, only he is much younger than Gong Gong's 95 years, yet just seeing that old man is like seeing an apparation of Gong Gong and I could not help but rudely stared for quite some time until I tried to hide my stare and started to peek... The feelings that surfaced were so strong I felt like crying in joy at such familiar memories and crying in sadness cos I deeply miss him.
Sometimes you miss a departed loved one so much your heart felt like it would burst. Sometimes you feel angry that their time is so short and you wish for just one more day with them to spend more time with them just to hear their voice again and to feel their touch and just to see them again in person. Like me, sometimes I wonder what if they are still alive. Will my son's life be different and be better shaped just because he could meet his grandma and greatgrandpa? Alas, that will remain a big What If. It is just not meant to be.
Such is the attachment we have to our dearly departed... Life goes on... but we are just too emotionally fragile sometimes and it is okay to miss them and let the tears fall once in awhile.
Thursday, 14 January 2016
26100 Kuantan Pahang
Sunday, 10 January 2016
There are barely 7 more days left to the fundraising for the Internet Free Release of the movie BANGLASIA by the talented Namewee provided USD 500,000 is collected through Kickstarter.
The link is here https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1416624528/banglasia-movie-by-namewee/description
So far less than half of the funds needed have been pledged by backers. Do take a look at the plight of this movie which could not survive the censorship of the country where it was referring to and decide if USD5 is too much for you to support this project.
Unless a miracle donor buys up all the bigger spots in the next one week... Chances are this project may be buried forever.... Imagine it as a kitten that is shivering in the rain and may die of cold if no one help soon.. Won't you help to relieve the suffering just a little by providing shelter? In the name of art and entertainment and regardless of how we may hate or love Namewee he has made an impact to Malaysia's colourful landscape to be even more vibrant. ONE THING IS FOR SURE, Namewee is surely truly passionate about whatever he does and he has lost a lot of weight in his latest video. Regardless of what happens please don't bury the movie Namewee. Don't ever stop being yourself.
The link again: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1416624528/banglasia-movie-by-namewee/description