Missing Someone Who Will Never Come Back

A breath away is not far to where you are....

I miss my late mother-in-law.

I really miss her now even when I am typing this alone in the living room while hubby is in the bedroom with our son... I miss her a lot.

I haven't really cried after she passed away. I actually have no regrets because I did my best for her and said all that I wanted to say... but I really miss her. I miss her it hurts so much everytime our boy cries and I wonder if it was his tummy hurting or his ear hurting, I wanted to call mommy and ask and I realised she is no longer here. When I saw how our life feels so empty because we are lacking that every two or three days phone call to mommy and say Hello to her in a sing-song manner.

I miss her belly laugh and how cheerful she seems whenever we talk, knowing very well we brought her happiness in her final years... I have no regrets I decided to hold on and started my mission to learn to love her, ... I have since truly loved another mother who isn't my own mother from the bottom of my heart, I deeply miss her.. the screen is blur now due to my tears... gosh, I miss mommy so much....

She will never see our son grow up. She will never see him take his first step, she will never hear him call her po po. If we have more children after our firstborn, she will never know... or maybe she knows from up there in Heaven because that is where she should be. With a heart that big, always selfless, she must be in Heaven now. Maybe she is polishing the Heaven's gates because she always said she will fall asleep if she just sit still doing nothing.

My birthday is coming soon... mommy celebrated my birthday three times with me last year... it was as if she knew she could not spend time with me anymore after last year, 2012.... she made longetivity noodles and cooked two eggs she dyed red for good luck and prosperity for me during my Chinese Lunar Birthday, then we had a great Karaoke dinner in a private room where she kissed me and gamely posed again for my sister to catch the kiss on replay... then on my actual birthday early October we had dinner with Pei in Kuching where we sought treatment for her tumours... three times, not once did we talk about death or dying... it wasn't until November when I was on unpaid leave, all alone with mommy that she asked me if she was really dying.

I still remembered what I told her... I answered yes to that but when she asked me how much longer she has, I replied that not even the doctor could predict because if the doctor said a few months but she could live a few years then the doctor is lying, and if the doctor said a few years but then she passed away in a few months, then the doctor is lying as well. I kept telling her to be positive and everything will be okay in the end. From May 2012 of final stage cancer... she only passed away on March 19, 2013, 10 months of surviving final stage cancer. She is one strong fighter, our mommy. Just in time for our son to celebrate his 30th day full moon day... mommy's passing away anniversary will always be our son's age minus 30 days.

Mommy, wherever you are, your spirit lives on in us... I shall tell my son about you and what a great grandmother you are, an ordinary woman with great achievements in human values.

I miss you, and I still love you, my only mother-in-law.

xoxo
Sue

Pix of mommy making her famous yong to fu for one last time before she was too weak to stand up in 2012 *miss her and her cooking and everything about her*

30 DAYS... THE BEGINNING AND THE END

How to Get Cheaper Insurance Premium for Cars Over 10 years old

My car is over the 10-year-mark and with all the extra loading charges it just isn't feasible for me to keep paying a high insurance premium for my car which has depreciated in value. 

Last year when my greenie (my car) was 13 years old my dad suggested I change to a third party insurance as my car value is already below RM10k. National car loses value fast. If your car is an imported brand please don't switch to third party coverage so fast, check the value of your car first.

MMIP (Malaysian Motor Insurance Pool) administered by MMIP Services Sdn Bhd is actually a pool of different insurance companies who 'share' the insurance of people opting for insurance for their older cars. It is for people whose car could not get the coverage from the usual insurance anymore or the premium is too high and not worth paying for a first party coverage anymore.

I had it done at the post office without a hassle in 2012 along with my vehicle road tax renewal. However in August 2013 it is a different story. 

I went to two different post offices for many times in a week and only to be told my NCD (non claim bonus) is zero whereas my last year's printed NCD is 55%, the maximum. 

I was baffled and I was told to come back another day when the system is online as it appears to be offline. I got this 'offline' excuse for a whole week from Aug 20-26, including on Saturday where the lady on Friday asked me to come early Sat morning to try my luck as 'the system may be open by then'. No such luck.

With my road tax and insurance expiring on Aug 26, I panicked when I was told again that MMIP is still offline and I decided to use the next lowest premium insurance, Multipurpose Insurans... Which is 2.5 times MORE in premium. 

However when they checked my NCD it is still zero. I was like 'No Way I am gonna lose my NCD for something I never claimed!' They said I need to wait for the email if post office is to email them to enquire as they do not entertain phone calls. My road tax would have expired long by then and I will have a perfectly working car with no legal right to drive it as it has no road tax. 

I had long known Uni Asia agents nearby is of no use to renew MMIP motor insurance. In Setapak Wangsa Maju area, there is one opposite KL Festival City on the same row as the new branch of Public Bank, about two blocks away, the post office lady told me about it on Aug 23 me asked me to renew my MMIP insurance at Uni Asia agent office opposite KL Festival City Shopping Mall. I parked legally by a busy road and walked up to the quiet shop lot and had to be doubly sure and walked back out to check out the signboard... There is no indication of Uni Asia at the steps. I knocked on the glass door or a very bare office and a young girl was hesitant to open the door for me. She was all alone and here isn't any signs of Uni Asia logo in that office. I asked if it was Uni Asia and she asked who specifically I was looking for. I said I wanted to renew my insurance and the post office asked me to do it here. They don't do general insurance so no renewal of motor insurance there, they only do life insurance and investment savings plans.

Then I drove to the Land Transport Authority (JPJ) and sought out the Uni Asia agent there. I was told they have no access to online system for MMiP and they need to do it manually by fax and it will take hours. That's it. HQ it is, since I am in the capital city anyway.

Hence I checked out the address for MMIP and got my dad to drive me there (thanks Pa) as my car is legally unmovable now.

Parking costs RM3 at Bangunan Malaysian RE for the first hour and RM3 for subsequent hours. Don't ask me why it is called Malaysian RE. It shares the building with MNRB and should come just before PNB building. Go up to 6th floor. 

The map captured on my phone is as below: 

HOWEVER NOTE THAT YOU CANNOT RENEW YOUR INSURANCE AT THEIR HQ. It is only a bodily claim department. You still need to travel to Uni Asia HQ or Multipurpose Insurance HQ to do it or at their respective agents nationwide. Sometimes due to the hassle people ended up paying double or more to save the hassle. Your call.

They could check my NCD though and it is still 55%. Pos Malaysia couldn't check the system after they upgraded their system with JPJ or something hence it always appear as zero for them.

The nice Malay personnel there said my Insurance is under Multipurpose Insurans and not Uni Asia. And they gave me a slip of the insurance HQ (I think many people must have thronged the MMIP HQ) they already cut out slips of printed papers of Uni Asia and Multipurpose Insurans HQ address. They even told me how to get there with specific landmarks and directions. Bless them.

So my dad and I went down to the city

and passed by Kompleks Wilayah, Oriental Daily HQ and got to CapSquare. I was told to go to 8th floor but when they saw it was third party I was directed to 10th floor. Got there by 4pm. All was done by 4.30pm.

Effective this year all insured need to fill up and sign a proposal form like this. 

The lady at the payment counter told me to only renew my insurance a day after as due to the system upgrading by JPJ, it doesn't seem to link well with the insurance companies. She said: "We already update here on our system but it is slow to appear on their side and they point the finger at us and customers call us up to scold us". So since it would be 5pm after I leave the area I decided to go straight to JPJ the next day. I won't even try Pos Malaysia anymore, not with their masalah sistem and system offline issues the past week.

Mission half accomplished.

Next day, I went to JPJ. Got a legal parking space after 5 minutes of hovering. Got a number. Squeeze through the standing crowd and got a nice seat and waited for about 30 minutes while I read my book. My number was called and it was all done within 60 seconds. Yup, that fast.  From red last year it is blue this year, the road tax sticker I mean.

Replaced my road tax on my wind screen and I am good for another year!

Premium has gone up by RM10 this year compared to the RM90plus last year but I don't mind. My car doesn't go further than 25km of my area anyway. I am a blissful housewife/mother again. :) 

Note: They kept saying on their websites to only opt for MMIP when you could no longer get any company to insure your car. It is 'high risk' insurance so to speak. So please do your research and decide for yourself if it is for you.

Why is Life like this? Because it just is

Well, life throws some things that we may be unprepared for but usually nothing is greater than a loss, a loss of material things, loss of dream, loss of a dear relationship or a loss of life (death) of someone who know or even hold dear to our heart.

Yeah, death is inevitable. In between birth and death there is life and like a candle lit in the wind we never know when life will be snuffed out. We are just passing through this journey called life. 

In the past half a year alone, birth, illness, death have happened to many including myself. Just the past one month alone, people I know have witnessed the birth of their child, lost a child... Life lost so young RIP little angel, lost a pregnancy when your belly is growing with your anticipation, one got married, another broke up, And had someone dear falling ill (my prayers are still with you) and lost someone very dear to the other side, more than once sometimes in a short span of time. 

Such is life.

Celebrate life with its ups and downs.

However, life isn't all thorns without roses. Without these we won't appreciate the transient stuff because everything isn't permanent. Without the bitter we can never enjoy the sweet.

We will learn to treasure the present moments with our loved ones. 

Live like it is your last day on earth isn't cliche, it is very true. We don't even know what is going to happen the next moment so what right we have to claim that we have everything under control?

With birth there is death. It is what we make of the 'dash' in between that matters. What matters when you are lying down on your dying bed? Think about it and do something to reduce your regrets at the end of the day.

Stop the rat race and pause to enjoy the roses sometimes. Life is too short, too fleeting. Say I love you to your loved ones. Smile. Peace.

Pix by Jessica Coppadge, an admirable woman with strength and wisdom