Thursday, 25 April 2013

Reflection on the first 10 weeks of parenthood

Letter to my 10-week-old baby boy...

Dear my precious baby boy,

It has been 10 weeks since I first laid my eyes on you and held you in my arms, umblical cord still attached and your skin all reddish, pinkish and all wrinkly from delivery. You were so small mama was scared to hold you at first.

You were a fast, early one, wanting to be born an Aquarian instead of being a Pisces and gave us all a scare in the middle of the night. Labour was fast and you were born in the morning, same hour as mama, we are going to get along just fine, being a morning person.

Now fast forward 10 weeks, you have grown up so fast and it is hard to believe you are the same small wrinkly baby we brought home from the hospital.

They are not kidding when they say taking care of a small baby ain't easy. Mama is lucky to have your grandaunt for help in the first month. Half the month, grandaunt helped out and the other half when mama felt better, it was just mama and you in the middle of the night when you decide to wail for your feeding. Papa helped out four nights as well when he flew over to Borneo twice, once in your first week and another time when you were four weeks old.

Then grandmama, papa's mommy passed away when you were 30 days old and mama left you with grandaunt to attend the funeral. It was a painful five days being separated from you my precious baby boy, but an adult gotta do what they gotta do. It was painful to think that you will grow up not knowing your grandmama too... She is an exemplary woman, I shall tell you lots of stories about her when you are bigger.

You were a champ in the plane when mama flew back when you were 35 days to bring you back home. Grandmama (mama's mom) hogged you for the most of the journey, not wanting to let you go, not even when mama wanted to hold you. Grandpapa (mama's dad) took care of all the bags, a baby is so small yet requires so much luggage! Know that you are very much loved my baby boy.

You only cried twice the entire flight, once for feeding and another time for diaper change as you soiled yourself. Luckily the old wives' remedy for ear popping worked for you. We are going to many places after this when you are bigger my baby boy, gotta use your passport to the fullest the next five years. *wink*

At first, especially when mama first cared for you, unfamiliarity with your cues and habits made it quite frustrating for the both of us. Slowly, after a week or so, mama learned to read your cries and your preference, you are one fussy little one dear baby boy.

There was once in the middle of the night when all were asleep, mama was so tired she just popped the pacifier into your mouth and the next thing she knows when she woke up, it was already 7am, you slept through the night without a feeding! Mama panicked and quickly fed you despite you being asleep and all. Then mama found out a small baby like you is capable of sleeping through the night and won't feel hunger if you are sleeping and not crying.

Of course by now, 10 weeks, you still need constant feeding, you are like a little alarm clock, every two hourly feeding on normal days. Sometimes you chose to sleep more and you can stretch your sleep/naps to 4-5 hours.

Your waking time is longer now too. There was once you refused to sleep for six hours straight. You wanted to see the world, you kept staring and turning your head in all directions. You didn't cry much so we let you join us in the living room, you looking around while papa and mama enjoyed a movie marathon while feeding you in between, the three of us in our little home.

True, papa and mama's lives have changed the moment you came into the picture but the change is in a good way.

True, 'sacrifices' had to be made like lacking sleep, lacking freedom to just leave the house without having to pack the entire nursery supplies (nearly exaggerating), smelly poo on a daily basis, mama never felt so much relief when you poo after one whole day of no poo, suddenly the study of poo became mama's new interest and google helped a lot.

However, all these 'sacrifices' are not really a big deal after all, they are easily made up the moment we hold you, our precious little bundle in our arms, you feel so soft and cuddly and the feeling is 'you are finally home with us', the feeling is the most peaceful and comfortable feeling mama has ever felt.

You still haven't really smile your first real smile yet, you still haven't laughed yet, yet you have already captured our hearts just by being there in our lives.

Thank you my baby boy.

People say you are lucky to be born and have a family like us, however I will say mama and papa are VERY LUCKY to have a precious little one like you in our family. You are truly our blessing. We love you so so so much and will try not to spoil you (too much). *wink*


(pix of our sleeping baby in Week 8 who likes to cover his eyes, so no need for face mosaic to protect his privacy)

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