Thursday, 21 March 2013

Reflection on Accepting Death

A quiet moment before the coffin arrives home. We are waiting at the family home of my in laws some two-hour-drive from Kuala Lumpur.

Mommy's body was sent to the funeral parlor for makeup and preservation and the wake starts later today (Thursday), in Chinese culture, usually the wake is held for three days two nights. So Sat morning shall be the funeral service and thereafter proceed for cremation at noon.

Truth be told, both me and darling hubby Siang actually feel maybe 5% sadness and the rest are actual happiness/relief that she is now in a better place, free from suffering, free from her failing body. Siang and I talked about it before bed last night and we share the same sentiments, tears are usually present because of some unresolved regret, we have minimized our regret especially in the last few months so in short, both of us have ACCEPTED, acceptance is a powerful word that enables one to look at things from a different point of view.

Moreover we promised mommy we will not cry in her presence. Since it is a promise, a promise must be kept.

However, as much as I'd like to hold on to my promise, I don't know how strong I will be to hold on to my promise not to shed tears when her coffin is closed one last time, or how I can keep myself from breaking down once her casket is pushed in for cremation, however I shall try my very best to keep to our promise not to cry in her presence.

A pix of one of the blooming flowers in mommy's garden. RIP my only mother-in-law.

Post note: You are sorely missed...

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