Relationship Expiry Date

People say I am too sensitive (as my weakness) and yes I admit it. If I am not sensitive I won't be the caring person that I am and I won't care so much and give so much. 

If they think it is not worth their time to accept that about me and wanna keep their distance then by all means do so. I have learned to desensitise myself from people who drifted too far away from my life over the years. 

A clap takes both hands to work. I am just tired. And it still hurts each time a clap doesn't work and I have to let go but the hurt dulls after awhile.

Some relationships really do have an expiry date. Sometimes when a bridge doesn't work, a construction is due for a wall.

When It is Just Isn't Your Day and You Feel Down (more like you feel like shit)

Today just isn't my day.

My car battery went dead on me and I was already running late for work.

Instead of waiting to get it sorted out, I hailed a taxi from in front of my home and got to work within a reasonable time frame.

Then I had a 2pm-4pm break and the sky looked very dark. As if my mood isn't dark enough for the day.

It was then that I decided to take the cab back home to check on my baby boy, dark sky or not.

By the time I reached home, rain started pouring and the thunderous sky had an angry sounding orchestra up above.

My little one's smiling face changed to a frown and then his mouth turned downwards and he started wailing with the first thunder. The second lightning came and the second thunder sounded, causing him to wail even more. I picked him up and cuddled him while singing a nonsense lullaby that I just made up on the spot and he calmed down and settled into a singing response to me, cooing all the way in my arms as the thunders continue their symphony.

Bad day or not, I felt needed and I am glad I made that short trip back home right there and then before going back to work at 4pm later.

If you let them, babies have a way of brightening your day... the keyword here is "if you let them".

I have decided to let my baby taken over my life and my heart. Thank you baby boy.

Back to work now. :-)

Feeling Emo

Long post ahead...

It has been quite some time since I last played any games on my iPhone or facebook, before Candy Crush became the craze for (almost) everyone.

Back when my late mom in law (MiL) was still alive and then diagnosed with final stage cancer, I was a regular in some Zynga games on mobile, and actually had some 'regular' game partners called 90tomh and worshipdrummer. Then I quit to attend to more pressing matters at home since my MiL stayed with us in her final days and left a message in our last game, to which worshipdrummer replied, giving me comforting words.

Now more than 200 days later, much have happened after my MiL passed away, had a baby boy, then attended my MiL's funeral, etc. then I checked out those games again and saw that it has been more than 200 days.

I checked back 11 days later and the game requests were still unanswered, I guess they too have moved on and dumped the game.

Some things can never be the same as time goes on. 

The only constant is change. This made me very emotional when I think about it. My baby will be a little boy soon and by the time he enters primary (elementary) school I will be 40. You can never return to all the 'good old times', that's why they inserted the word 'old' in everything nice and fine.

Am I scared of old age? A little... I will be lying if I say no. Am I afraid of death? Yes, sudden death especially, I wish to have some time to prepare myself and plan my 'exit' from this life.

It is the start of the 14th week for my darling son. He just turned exactly 3 months old last week, according to the calendar month. I was just looking at his newborn pix and I nearly teared up seeing how small he was back then. He has a little boy face now... I am torn in between wanting to see how he will grow up yet I am sad when I know he is growing and will never be as small and this way anymore. Human dilemma of not sure how to feel.

Guess everyone deal with grief their own way. I guess this is my grief talking. I haven't fully cried out after my MiL passed away as both hubby and me made a promise not to cry near her body. 

Having such precious happiness in my arms now in the form of my son and then losing my MiL seems like a cruel joke played on me by nature. 

I haven't dealt with the sadness or even the anger and frustration of the situation.

Yes I have busied myself with my baby for three full months and I was too tired to even think of anything on a daily basis. I do enjoy my baby tremendously.

But last night, my baby slept through the night and only woke up at 5.30am for his feeding, giving me a good night's sleep... 

As I woke up refreshed...which isn't a bad thing, and then these feelings flooded in, as I am only human. 

All these while fatigue helped me delay facing my grief. 

Now... Sigh. Mommy I hope you are happy where you are now, I know you are at peace now. Know that your youngest son and me don't feel the same without you around the house. We sorely miss you... More than words can say.

- end -

Reminder to Self

This serves as a reminder to myself:

I may be stressed but if I compare the things that are stressing me out, others may have it worse than me, so I am blessed to be stressed by these things;

I may be irked with whatever or whoever now but others may have it worse than me, so I am blessed to be irked by them now, I know it could be much worse;

I may be aware of the growing fine lines on my face, but I have a face to look back at me when I look into the mirror, and I am comfortable in my skin, and for that I am grateful;

I may be fatter than those thinner than me but I am healthy (relatively) and fine, and I have all my faculties complete, mental, physical and emotional, I can walk with my fat calves, My stubby fingers are able, and I am me for all that I am worth;

I may feel lost or unloved but ultimately if I am not loving myself enough, how can another love me when I myself deem myself worthy of my own love?

I look back and count my blessings, I look around now and count my blessings and with a heart full of gratitude, I remind myself that I am grateful for all that has been bestowed upon me;

I may stumble in life and have low period of mood, but ultimately I have always picked myself up no matter how hard it was, and this time around, I can do it too!

There is a reason I am still alive, and until the day I really die, there is still a reason I am alive. Sometimes there are more than one reason, so REMEMBER THAT!

Sue* Jan 17, 2013.

Pix taken in April 2012, at Orlando, Florida, USA.

NEVER GIVE UP

Here we go again, Marking.

The dreaded marking is here again, my least favourite part of my job.

Wish me luck! I need to make the deadline with as little human error as possible in my Maths of adding up the marks.

Tedious work and doesn't help that the kids' answers ain't up to par as well, makes you wonder "What is this kid doing the whole semester?"

My maxim now is: "Mark as if this will be the final time you are given the privilege to mark", I feel so much better already... NOT! Who am I kidding? Anyway, back to marking for now.

Losing Your Brain Cells after 30

“@UberFacts: After age 30, the brain loses about 50,000 neurons a day. Shrinking by .25% each year.”

I saw this on twitter today and I had mixed feelings about it. Glad I know that fact because that explains a lot of things, and not so glad because I am losing brain cells.

It is like a voice inside saying: I am growing old! Oh no!

I know aging is inevitable. Being a woman, through every childbirth, you not only lose blood and bodily nutrients - it is said you lose much of your brain cells with every child. I know for a fact my own aunt lost a molar (big tooth at the back) for each pregnancy she had. She had two kids, so two molars lost it is. You can see your tooth which you lost, how about the unseen stuff like brain cells and your mental capacity?

Should I continue my PhD now or later? I find it more difficult to retain new information lately, even more so in 2012, I am more forgetful and need to set reminders for almost everything at work. I cannot recall people's names as fast as I could last year, one freaking year and I feel my brain has aged so much. Don't get me started on my physical aging!!!

I was lazing in bed this morning and snapped a pix of this - me grasping on to whatever brain cells I have left. Heard that ginkgo bibloba is good for memory retention? Let's hope I won't forget my own name too soon!

Expendables 2 - Movie Review

The Malaysian movie censorship is pretty strict. Even after censorship, you still can see the gore and blood in the most recent installment of Expendables. Expendables see Jet Li who plays Yin Yang, being featured in the first few scenes and he actually spoke some decent lines (if you can call them decent) and bade farewell to the gang by jumping out in a parachute with a Chinese billionaire, that's it. And he was replaced by a Chinese woman, who isn't exactly a girl and by the reaction I gauge from those seated near me in the cinema, the consensus is she isn't attractive. Sorry Yu Nam. We would expect a prettier face. Maybe Westerners view Asians differently. Anything Asian is 'exotic beauty' I guess.

TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, whoever bought the license for this movie in Malaysia, I hope you will take note that your translator did a 'out of context translation' for the Bahasa Malaysia subtitle.

During the shoot out where the gang ran out of ammo/bullets, they said: "I'm out", and the translation was "Saya pergi" which literally translate to "I am going (out)."

A funnier one which I feel is a disgrace: Arnold Schwarzenegger: "I am almost out"
Subtitle: Saya hampir pengsan.
Translates to: I am nearly fainting/will pass out soon.

This is what happens when translators do not get to watch the movie to get the context and just get thick scripts of dialogues to translate. I don't blame the translators, I blame the decision maker, whoever it is in the company who gains the license to bring this movie into Malaysia. At least check that the subtitles tally before airing it to the Malaysian public?

Back to the review, after censorship by the authorities, the movie only took one hour and 30 minutes and we left the cinema quite dissatisfied. With heavyweight legendary (read: aged and aging) action men except for maybe a man or two, I cannot help but think that their acting could have been better.

Yeah, I admit the old men still got it in the action and buff department, as their bodies could still flex their famed muscles, I still feel Expendables 1 is way better than Expendables 2. Sylvester Stallone, Arnold, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Jean Claude Van Damme, Jet Li (appeared for less than 15 mins), and my fav Chuck Norris with his signature music in the background when he appeared, which are more like a cameo - Sorry peeps, you need to find a different genre to diversify or maybe don't accept offers or agree to star in a single movie with too many action heroes, we are confused on who is the real hero in the movie. Nah, as if I'd be confused. But usually the hero will be the last man standing, and we are talking about a gang of men.

Anyway, I digress, for the record, I am a woman so I may be biased when it comes to gore and excessive violence.

Only watch it I'd you are a gamer. Hubby had a field time watching the action and shooting. However he also agrees that it could be better. It certainly isn't the best movie released this year or even this month!

Sorry to say that I have one word to describe the movie and it's actually NOT bad, it's "juvenile".

Enough said.

Pix below grabbed from Wikipedia.

Quick-Dry Hair Wrap

Another post about how gullible women like me can be. See previous post about how sales people target women's vulnerabilities and insecurities.

Anyway, I bought this hair wrap that is supposed to quickly dry your hair. The salesperson claimed if your hair is shoulder length or shorter, it takes about 3-4 minutes to dry when wrapping your hair in it after washing your hair. For my hair, past shoulder length, it should be about 8-10 mins.

I bought a similar product from a thrift shop (USD1.50/SingDollar2/MYR5 per item). That was a few years ago. I used it once and it didn't do much to dry my hair and I put it down as a 'cheap' purchase with low quality.

This time round, I believed the sales person as she sells other wonder products on demo and I 'gambled' and bought many products, one of them was this hair wrap.

There is this button for you to latch on after securing your hair in the wrap. I tried it once, timed myself and 8 mins later, voila, damp hair, still wet but not dripping wet. I think any towel can perform that function.

Hubby touches my damp hair and said, it did dry your front bang, maybe your hair is too thick. (maybe my hair is too thin in front, sob sob).

I tried it the third time, and today I felt moved to write this blog post. I do feel like a fool but I love this colour compare to my previous 'cheaper' purchase so I am keeping it. At least my hair won't be dripping wet when stepping out of the shower. Call it self-comforting or whatever, women are such funny creatures. :)

And of course, it costs 5 times more so of course I'm keeping it!

Hateful Sales People Targeting Women's Insecurities (Part 2)

Continuing from my previous blogpost, I reiterate that I have nothing personal against sales persons. I just detest the tactics they deploy and the things they say, targeting women's insecurities and fears in order to make a sale.

Having worked for (only) a decade and lived past the age 30 mark, one of the advantages of having your own source of income is that you have cash to spare on yourself. Over the years I have sought the 'expert help' for all womanly-related 'problems' as advertised in tv/newspaper/other media, ranging from Slimming to facial, from head to toe beauty services and including health care, by health I don't include medical health care, these are more aesthetic health care, for beautification purposes more than anything.

Here, I'd like to share some personal experiences of sales people I have encountered so far, I shall use abbreviation and not their full names in order to 'protect' their privacy, if they have anything left to call 'private':

Example 1: Slimming Centre MF - In am attempt to push a 6k package, my mother who accompanied me there was roped in to help me pay for the balance my new credit card cannot cover. It was 2 years before my wedding (we decided on a wedding date very early as an auspicious date is very popular and reservations had to be made early). My first encounter with such pushy sales tactics began at the age of 24++.

Example 2: Slimming Centre MF: Upon nearly using up my package, the persuasive sales/consultant pushed another package, half the original price of the first package I signed up. This continued for 2 whole years until the year I got married, in total, I have paid up in monthly installments (all paid up within a year) to this MF centre, a total of over 20k. I am not ashamed of this as I did benefit some, and it is my own money, I paid back my mom after the first sign up. So I guess no regrets here.

Then, since my main motivation to slim down was for my wedding, after 2007, I went back at least twice and that's it. Once was to claim my 3-times-free sessions during my birthday in Oct 2007, and my sweet consultant Teresa and I brought my mom along for a mother-daughter pampering session. The second time post-wedding was also with my mom as I bought her a two-time package.


Example 3: MF Slimming - Then in 2010, I received a birthday card from MF and enclosed are the similar 3-times-free treatment in conjunction with my birthday. My consultant Teresa has since left so I went to the same centre anyway and the new manager attended to me.

She refused to let me claim my 3-times-free treatments unless I sign up for another 6k package targeting my upper body part especially my arms, since I am 'top-heavy'. She didn't even wish me Happy Birthday as it is still my birthday month and I told her I am redeeming my free birthday treatment.

She launched into a sales pitch and made me strip down to my inners and took my measurement and tried very hard to make me sign up. I told her I am saving up to undergo fertility treatments then she said by slimming down it will help to have babies. Then I said I'd prefer not to touch my abdomen area as some of the slim wraps are really cold and not conducive for the womb, as in Asian medication, it is believed a warm womb is most fertile.

Then she recommended just targeting my arms (what happened to her earlier speech about losing fat all around he belly to increase chances of conceiving?), really BS and I was too nice. I should have just retorted and pulled all the weaknesses from her sales pitch and throw it back at her. I left with a sour taste in my mouth and threw away my free birthday gift voucher as she refused to add the 3 sessions into my account. I vowed if I ever go back, I shall turn on my voice recorder and post it up on YouTube to show just how ridiculous the arguments are. Be forewarned, MF.

Example 4: Still on MF Slimming, I received a phone call a few months after Oct 2010, it was early 2011 and a telesales/consultant spoke in "broken English" and said I haven't been there since 2007 and my "treatment is has expired", I said coldly that I have just been there last year a few months back. She asked when, I said in Oct during my birthday. She said "Bye" and hung up, I was like "huh?"

Very very bad impression.

Message to MF management, your customer relations and public relations are in dire need of improvement. The reason I stayed that long with MF is because of one person, my lovely consultant Teresa Chan. It has gone downhill since then and you are just like any other outlets who are out to fleece women (and men) of their money. Your treatments are still one of the most effective though, with a good core, if you brush up on your PR and CRM, you should regain your reputation and market share.

I have changed my mobile number and won't step in a MF outlet until I feel I wish to be subjected to such 'treatment' again, I still have some unused treatments left.

Example 5: Slimming Centre LWM. With a name of a Western country, you'd think it is Western-owned, however it is more name than substance, the boss is a Chinese from China. For all their products that originate from China, I found it outrageous it is so expensive.

I went through the first 'free trial with free product to bring home'.

The consultant had a big mole (beauty mark) on her chin and talked a lot. After a half-hour sauna session, I had a second slim wrap which involves being wrapped up like a tortilla/spring roll in aluminium foil blanket and being steamed for about half an hour.

I nearly fainted in this second session as I became dehydrated and felt faint, to make things worse, the consultant forgot about me.

By the time she came to me, I was very dizzy and told her I felt like I am about to faint. She got worried and poured me many glasses of drinking water and made me drink them, I think about 3 or 4 glasses at one go. She even tried to inject a sense of humour to the situation and said: "I actually forgot that your time is up and left you for too long" and she giggled. It's NOT FUNNY!

After the final part of the slimming session involving machine, I rushed through the post-treatment consultation. My weight has dropped about 2lbs/1kg but I put it as water loss, remember my dehydration in the second session?

I conjured up some excuses that I need to rush and quickly signed all the necessary papers to prove I've redeemed my treatments and in my rush, I forgot my free slimming products to bring home. No loss as I am lazy to apply body lotion anyway at home! My first and last time at LWM! They called after that but I refused to be 'bought' again.

Example 6: Mole and beauty marks - this happened in 2003 when I went to China on a press junket when I was still a reporter.

I was privileged enough to extend my trip for a good three days after official 'work' was over, and with two other journalists, we travelled down to Shenzhen from Guangzhou to take advantage of the special free accommodation at Shangrila Hotel (the sales director was our fellow countryman).

In these two amazing cities, we toured with buses as the other two journalist friends are Chinese literate (I only speak Chinese and not literate, I am almost blind in reading and writing Chinese words). We visited a shopping district twice.

In the first visit to the shopping district, one woman attracted me, she was promoting a herbal beauty product that is said to lighten dark pigments and eliminate moles. I have always been self-conscious when people pointed out the moles on my face. Just magnify my profile pix and try to count them. :)

I thought about it in the following days and when my journo friends suggested we visit that shopping district again, I was really excited as I decided I wanted to try the product.

Since it was nearly a decade ago, I forgot the price of the product but it shouldn't be too expensive as I only just started working not too long at that time, so it should be under USD100 to be considered 'affordable' for the 2003-me.

To cut a long story short, I was completely vowed over by the sales pitch by that woman who coincidentally had a mole under her eye (I forgot which eye). I paid up and brought the bottle home. I religiously use it after toning daily, and hoping to see my moles disappear, or at least lighten them.

A week went by, then a fortnight, and finally the bottle was depleted in a month. Nothing happened.

I was crushed. Lol, I can laugh about it now but back then I was in denial and kept pumping the empty bottle in hope there are something left and maybe, just maybe that last drop will do the magic the promoter claimed. I was barely 23, and after leaving my early 20s, I hope I am considered no longer so gullible.

On the other hand, I was lucky nothing bad happen to my skin. Some were conned by bogus products and had irreversible damages on their skin. Consider it a lucky escape and an expensive lesson learned.

Example 7: Skin - Facial: I only had a few basic facial sessions at the hair salon at the home of my mother's friend before my mid-20s. They only cost USD10 each one-hour session to clean my face with the regular extraction. My sis had breakout problems in her teens and I followed her there as mom paid for my session anyway, so that's about it.

Then just before my wedding, I had a free facial session at a huge chain of skincare franchise.

I signed up for a package worth nearly 3k for 10 sessions. I was vowed by the half-face-proof of how my skin was firmed up on one side after applying the product during the facial treatment session.

That begins my long journey with NYSS.

Five years on, I still have 6 sessions remaining and I am dreading each time I drag my feet for my facial.

They will try to make you part with your money in each visit.

There was once my consultant took a photo of my face stripped bare with eyes closed during treatment without my consent and saved it into the computer despite me asking her to delete it as it was really unflattering, she said "why should it be deleted, you look just fine", I guess being plump has its merits, since I have a chubby face, the shot was really 'fat' and was never used for commercial purposes (advertisements), but still I felt violated.

Anyway, in the past one year, I have, 9 out of 10 times successfully managed to dodge the sales tactics to buy more home products/treatment sessions, etc. That one moment of weakness is when they knew me too well and checked when my last installment of the last purchase will be up and attacked me in that month.

I am a woman and our love for beauty is inborn.

Example 8: Hair - This is when I accompanied my mom to her first consultation which is supposed to be free and comes with free home products and free first trial.

My mom was losing hair at the crown of her head and the thinning was aggravated by work stress a decade ago.

I hated the manager's guts.

The conversation went like this:

Manager: I recommend you invest xxK to return your hair to its former glory.

My Mom: But it's so expensive.

Manager: We have 0% installment for 12 months with credit cards. Which card do you have?

My Mom: But still...

Manager: Do you want to look beautiful? Don't you want your husband to see you as beautiful? Are you not scared he will leave you if you are unattractive with a balding scalp?

I WAS FUMING MAD but bit my tongue as I saw that my mother really wanted to give the treatment a shot. Her mind was already made up the moment she saw the newspaper advertisement.

Nearly 10 years on, she still goes to the same outlet (changed branch once to follow her young consultant), and I lost track of how much $$$ my mom has paid YNH.

She is still working so I guess it is alright.

I still hate that manager's guts for playing with my mother's insecurities and fears that first time. My mom told me the manager left after a year, good riddance. She seems happy with her current outlet so whatever makes her happy, I guess it's okay.

Example 9: This is a summary of the few healthcare product sellers I have encountered over the years.

Offers free health checkups including blood pressure measurement. The tag line FREE always attracts people.

Launch into a sales pitch and present some common problems of humans nowadays. Tap into the fear of death and fear of illness and pain. One such salesmen even threaten 'cancer' if we leave it untreated. Then they present to you 'the solution' which is prevent it before it happens.

In the form of capsules/caplets or pills, these products are your 'savior' and defense against all your fears. You are now saved and healthy. Sounds familiar?

MY THOUGHTS:
I have this urge to draft and print out an 'agreement' and make my so-called beauty/health consultants to sign and agree not to launch into a sales pitch and pressure me to part with more money with each visit. I bought the services in the first place to allow some 'relaxation', not to add more pressure to my life. Oh well.

Hubby said this is their job and the best way is to avoid going altogether. That isn't solving the problem either

I have cut the number of calls from the outlets I have stopped frequenting by changing my number last year.

For the few I still go to, I just wish to stop but I still have unused sessions.

I just have to resist their coercion and persuasion each time and that doesn't really aid my relaxation.

They will try to use all sorts of tactics and lines like - if you can stop aging right now in your 30s, why not stop it now and don't let it age more into your 40s?

Hey girl, you are younger than me so easy for you to say. Wait till you turn 30, 35, then 40 and 50. Aging is inevitable!

I think I shall go to my next session with this attitude and will demand to see my consultant first and NOT after so I can warn her not to launch into a sales pitch or else I will leave half way through and will change/transfer branch/outlet.

The way they make me feel is: "OMG, that's such a horrible condition, your eyes, poor poor eyes, you MUST USE OUR EYE PRODUCT (worth 3k for 10 times of use) or else it will be too late!"

It is way overpriced and I refused. I knew logically they just want to make a sale. However, they shook my self-confidence and later that night I was looking into the mirror and checking out my eyes, patting them. Hubby said: "See! They've got to you! Don't let them get into your head!"

When I told hubby I am fat, he said he doesn't mind and love me all the same.

When I told hubby the facial girls said I look old or my skin is sallow, he said you don't look old, I am older than you!

When I told hubby I am balding like my mom, he said no, you still have a lot of hair on your head, stop thinking that.

Thank you hubby for pulling me back to reality and keeping my purse intact.

I cannot change these sales people, it is their job and gotta make a living. I can change the way I react though and I am sure I am one customer to remember. :)

Pix is a wall decor of one of the health outlets we visited.

Hateful Sales People Targeting Women's Insecurities (Part 1)

The Media has evolved to such a state that it has penetrated every household and no longer confined to the square box we call tv.

Social media has emulated traditional media and allowed advertisements to be shown to its users, much to our chagrin.

Personal selling has gotten more 'vicious' as well. People who practices personally selling have many names, (read: sales people disguised as 'consultants', advisors, assistants, promoters, etc) but their ultimate goal is to persuade the 'target' to buy and part with their hard-earned cash.

They will use many tactics but I think I need another blogpost just to list out the tactics I have been exposed to by these sales persons. I have nothing personal against them. Anyway, I just missed yesterday by 7 mins so I typed too long too much again!

To be continued... In the meanwhile, this may pique your interest to read:
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/features/article/us-gynaecologists-alarmed-by-plastic-surgery-trend/

NEXT: http://suesanctuary.blogspot.com/2012/08/hateful-sales-people-targeting-women.html

Long-Winded Vs Curt Messages

“I like long text messages, because I appreciate the effort that's put into a complete thought.” Quoted from twitter @TheseDamnQuote

This quote caught my attention and struck a chord in me.

I am known to be long-winded and one with many many many words. I have been talkative ever since I learned how to talk before I even turned one.

With speech, when I started to go to school, I learned to love writing as well. When people are screaming inside, in protest, in language classes when they are given essay exercises, I find myself actually smiling with glee.

Just run a random check on my other blog posts and you can only count a handful of half-hearted lazy (short) posts. Majority of the posts are quite long.

Anyway, I digress, this phrase 'Anyway, I digress' has been quite a regular 'guest phraseword' in my blog, as I tend to write as if I am talking, branching out to many things before finally coming back to the topic at hand. I can go on forever before going back to the quote: “I like long text messages, because I appreciate the effort that's put into a complete thought.” *forces self to return to topic of the day*

Let's start with an example:

A: Hi, how are everyone at home? The weather is hot over here and the kids are coughing this past one week. Hope your kids are fine. Oh, have you heard from Cherry? Her husband Larry got a new job and is coming back to our town for good. Just to let you know so that we can catch up when Cherry has settled down after her move. Should be happening in the next two months! So excited to meet up with you girl's again!

B: Ok. TQ.

A: See you soon in two months ya? Take care and best regards to your family. Send my love to all.

B: OK

A: .....

End of Example 1 (text message)

I don't know about you but I have been A my whole texting life.

Emails, letters, any form of correspondence (including the restrictive Twitter), I tend to maximize my words.

Even when I was forced to economize on my words when I was interning at a national news agency (which I joined as a full timer two years later for another two years) I try to rebel and maximize my maximum five paragraphs by writing 30 words in each para as opposed to the recommended 25. I am flouting all journalism rules in my blog anyway so there you have it, a long-winded me.

Back to Example 1: what can you say about the character A? What can you say about character B?

This debate of long vs short, let's keep it to text messages and not anything else, I wonder how the Search engine result will be with the short vs long keywords, anyway, here I digress again.

I have already made a stand by the title of this blog post. Long is a neutral adjective. Short is a neutral adjective but I chose 'Curt' instead of short. Curt is too short, in my definition, to the point of bordering on rude and impolite. This is just my personal opinion and in my short decade of texting, I have learned not to take short messages personally, not to take the curt messages to heart.

It is the same effort like remembering people's birthday. Too much hassle? That means I am not in your priority. And short text messages - wanna save money and keep it within 160 characters? Or another excuse of "I just don't know what to say", or simply dismiss people who are similar to Character A, as "too long-winded" or "a chatterbox", then they conveniently forget to reply, with a thought at the back of their mind, "if I bump into them and they asked why did I not reply to their message, I will just say I forgot and I am too busy".

So, in other words, they are either lazy, no intention to communicate with you, don't wanna bother with making effort to maintain a relationship with you or all of the above. This list isn't exhaustive.

This is another rant, more to musing I think as I have come to terms that not everyone can write as long and as much as me.

However, whoever said people CANNOT CHANGE or are born that way, please take back your words. My man of a few words have been conditioned by yours truly to type longer messages and one of the requirements earlier in our courtship (dating) was he needs to write me an email a day when we were still apart, physically. If not for words, I would not have found my husband. We fell in love even before we held hands or even see each other in person. You see how I manage to steer a neutral topic to a mushy one? End of post. :)

Post-script note: I am NOT advocating long-windedness. More than two syllables in a message are more than welcome and may open up more room for communication and strengthening relationships. 4 characters in a text message costs the same as 160 characters. Communication is the key to building relationship. I teach and lecture on communication, I should know. *wink*

A random pic taken in China of a France's Louvre replica which is actually the roof/entrance of an underground shipping district. Just thought it is random enough to decorate an otherwise picture-less blog post.

August - Decluttering Resolution

This is my 7-day resolution to declutter my home and specifically my own belongings.

I have about 7 days of relatively free work days starting tomorrow afternoon after the final exam invigilation at work. Aug 23, 2012, Thursday.

My in-laws are coming down to stay with us for a week starting today, Aug 22, 2012, Wednesday. Arriving in about 3 hours from now.

If you have been following my blog, you would have read about how blessed me and hubby are, my parents-in-law, hubby's parents are both in their 60s, and having not been idle for a single day in their life, they always keep themselves busy anywhere they go, including their sons' homes. My mother-in-law (MIL) shall take over the kitchen, usually much to the delight of her daughters-in-law, and my father-in-law (FIL) shall take over the other household chores like sweeping and mopping the floor, keeping the floor spick and span clean! He mops at least twice a day!

So with the daily mundane stuff being taken care of starting today, and my in-laws are leaving for their home again on Aug 29, 2012, Wednesday, I have exactly 7 days to do something 'productive' besides blogging and relaxing (if you can call relaxing being productive). I won't count the accompanying my in-laws to run errands and visiting government offices with them as they live in a small town and need to do their official stuff in our city, etc., shopping for groceries trips, I still have at least two hours to myself with their help, which I greatly appreciate.

You see, it's like this. Usually my time is taken up by preparing meals and cooking in the kitchen. Since at least two hours a day is taken away from my must-do-list, I resolve to spring clean my stuff and give them away to the recycling bin/charity bin which accepts used stuff which are still in good condition. I have thought about selling them off online at a fraction of the original price, that would need some effort and more time, maybe I'll save about 10 items which are still in pristine condition to 'sell' and the rest shall be given away.

My wardrobe is bursting at its seams!

So this is Sue's resolution starting tomorrow. I vow to halve my wardrobe and only keep for sale, 10 items from each category if the condition permits, and give away the rest. Once halved, my wardrobe shall have more space and I shall wear each item more frequently because with more space created, it will be easier to view just how many items I have in my wardrobe. As of now, I have two wardrobes with another double rack outside as both my wardrobes are too full, no kidding. I shall skip taking pix of my two wardrobes as it is difficult to close back the doors once open, he ce here is the pix of my make-shift-rack-turned-exposed wardrobe. I am in dire need to declutter my wardrobe (my store room is another story altogether, let's start with my wardrobe first. :)

On the upper right side of the pix below you can see a glimpse of the white steel bar, there are two white steel bars and both bars are hung fully with hangers and clothes, and this is only the outer wardrobe, not including my two proper wardrobes! I know I am messy person, guilty as charged.

I am actually humbled at the thought that with only one body, how many clothes can I actually wear in a year? How about some other women in the more unfortunate places in this world who only have two sets of clothes, one to wear and one to wash?

With this decluttering exercise, I shall also resolve to 'reduce' shopping for more clothes unnecessarily. I have made a huge achievement by NOT buying any blouse or tops or shirts from my recent trip to China! Let's see if I can keep this up this Christmas and New Year!

Up next shall be a resolution to curb my 'hoarding nature'. Let's leave my hoarder habits for another blog post. Happy Hump Day!

(P/S - Wednesday is called a Hump Day as it is the Middle of the week).

Note: I find blogging strangely therapeutic and resolutions made via blogging seems to be working so far, hence I am sharing my really messy self especially my wardrobe to 'motivate' myself to kick this messy habit of mine. The challenge is to keep it UN-messy after this resolution has been achieved! Wish me luck! Oh, don't mind the pix, hope I didn't scare anyone there! And yes, my bedroom walls are painted pink! Never too old for pink *wink*

2012 is a Vicious Dragon Year

According to the Chinese lunar calendar, 2012 is a Dragon year, there are 12 animal zodiacs in the Chinese tradition.

Dragon babies are much coveted as scores of couples strive to conceive AND deliver babies in this auspicious year. The number of infants born in such a 'lucky' year almost doubled in almost every Chinese-descent-populated areas in the world!

However, too much of a good thing isn't too good as well. The powerful Dragon energy does not augur well with the frail and elderly. Consider it the 'overwhelming' power of the Dragon, which may cause illness for some and even death for many. The powerful Dragon is said to cause Flood, natural disasters, and natural illness that cropped up from no where for individuals.

I have attended a funeral on my hubby's side earlier this month, August 2012. From Chinese (Lunar) New Year in late January up to August 2012, I have heard of personal losses of those surrounding me almost every other week. That should be more than 20 deaths of someone related to someone I know. Two students have lost their dear fathers (young fathers who barely turned 50 and another less than 60 of age), at least five other students lost their uncles and grandfathers. On fb, contacts and friends lost their lovely babies due to negligence of caretakers and natural causes (at least two sweet precious little lives were lost in the earlier part of 2012), then there are my friends who lost their parents who didn't even make it past the age 70 mark, another friend who lost 3 dear ones in a single month, and many others who share in their fb status updates of their bereavements.

This leads to a very recent bereavement of a long time colleague, in my vocabulary, more than a year in a job is considered 'long' - he was in his late 50s.

We were in China without my work phone and I only saw the text message upon arrival back to Malaysian soils, four days after his passing due to heart attack. His young wife texted our supervisor who then informed the rest of us who had the privilege to work with him.

It happened a day before Eid, Aug 18. Malaysian Muslims celebrate the first day of Syawal on Aug 19 this year. It must have been sad and shocking for his young family (he started a family quite late in his late 30s).

Rest in Peace, brother. Will always remember you, Mr Fazham Talib, as an old-timer with vast industrial experience in corporate communications, with a small stature but very powerful voice that booms across the hallway when you speak. You shall be dearly missed by all who knew you. Al-Fatihah (RIP).

A chronicle of my marking marathon - Aug 2012

First update:
Half an hour and I only finished one script of the over 200 scripts. 223 to be exact.

I shudder to think how many hours I need to spend to finish all - OMG, 4 whole days without break 24 hours a day, non stop and plus 15 hours and 30 mins. Gulp.

No time wasted - to be continued - this shall be a super long blogpost

Second entry:
Not bad. Nearly an hour has passed and I have finished three scripts. I managed to cut down from 30mins per script to an average of 20mins per script.

I find this process of updating strangely motivating. I used to procrastinate by doing something else, very time consuming so I guess giving myself some reprieve in the form of saving my blog as draft till I manage to finish marking proves to be so far so good in keeping me motivated.

Back to marking!

Third update: I am slowing down again, completed the 5th script and my eyes felt heavy. I left my stopwatch on (oh yeah I use a stopwatch for this chronicle) and walked around the house to wake myself up.

Checked my twitter and a new 'follower' whom I then followed offered me a psychic reading online and asked me what do I wanna know. If you are psychic, you should guess or maybe you already know and not ask.

Back to marking. No psychic is gonna help me to mark anyway.

Fourth update: Two hours and I've completed 6 scripts. Still at the rate of 20 mins per script. Wish me luck.
I need to mark faster!!!

Fifth update:
Dead tired after marked 8 scripts. Will call it a night. Sat night gone - nearly 3 hours spent marking 8 scripts. I must mark faster tomorrow. Till tomorrow, nitez.

Day 2:

2.0 First update: Yawn. Bright and shine. Had breakfast. Prepared lunch and now I try to launch myself to get I to the momentum to mark again. I barely made a dent with 8 scripts the first evening (my paper arrived only late afternoon/early evening. That is like PROGRESS: 3.5% lol more than 96% more to go. Sigh.

Day 2 Update 2: My mobile Internet and also home Internet decided to die on me. I've made another 4% of progress since then. I actually feel dizzy now. Of course I didn't mark non-stop or else I will be even more dizzy. Yawn. I am so tired.

Back to marking. I shudder to think that I will be doing this again in 4 months. It is a necessary struggle in this career.

Day 2: Update 3/Last update: I went to bed without updating my journal. :p

Day 3: Update 1:

Yay! Had a good night's sleep! Off to do marking again. First, I need to change to go to work first. Marking gotta wait. :(

Day 3: Update 2:
I've stopped counting. I am
Not even halfway through and I am already at midpoint before the deadline. End of Day 3. Zzzzz

Day 4: Update 1: I need to spend half a day to do exam invigilation duty. Half day gone!
However, I felt giddy and wobbly today that I went to the doc's and got sick leave for the Day.

Marking stops for no one so I am trying to make some progress with marking here.


Day 5: Update 1: I am back to work. Marking resumes after lunch after my duty is over. Let's hope I finish this big stack before a tackle another bigger stack!

I am hopeless! Drastic measures need to be taken to ensure I complete this on time! No more updates till I finish! The end of Day 5 update!

Yay, Finally made it in one piece.

:D Phew I'd like to say "That wasn't so bad" but trust me, it WAS THAT BAD!

You may be interested in http://suesanctuary.blogspot.com/2012/07/procrastinator-embracing.html

Starting a 'short' journal

Journal writing is a voyage to the interior. ~ Christina Baldwin

I am writing a journal to chronicle my experience in 'struggling' to complete my marking from Saturday August 11, 2012 till finish.

I find it cathartic, almost a relief to be able to vent when the stress gets too bad.

Consider this Aug 13, Monday's entry as I need to update my long journal now. Back to marking in awhile.

My love-hate relationship with Cooking - How I Learn to Love Cooking

Whoever said that they have no time to cook because they have no time to shop for groceries are talking nonsense. Actually, anyone who said they 'don't have time' or 'TOO BUSY' for anything just means that they don't put that into their priority, as simple as that.

Their excuse is the line at the check-out counters/cashier is too long. Another nonsense.

Sometimes they say they have no time to cook because they:
A) need to work like most of us do
B) need to care for children like half the Mothers do
C) or both A and B
D) they don't know how to cook and have no time to learn/attend cooking classes, etc

In other words, they don't want to cook. Period.

If you don't wish to cook, just say you don't wanna cook, simple, don't give all sorts of feeble excuses (some even more outrageous than the examples above).

I only picked up cooking, like really dabble in it about five years ago in 2007 when I got married. Before that none of my cooking were edible, just ask my younger sister who spent her first 22 years living with me.

Bless my husband for finishing almost everything that I cooked (read: experimented on) in the kitchen. You don't want to know what I cooked up in those early months. My cooking actually improved in a few months through trial and error.

Of course, I had to eat my own cooking, especially during dinner, and once my cooking improved, I cook lunch for myself as my current workplace is only a short drive away from home. Having an appreciative food taster like hubby, surely motivated me to discard my 'old hatred' towards cooking to make way for a new love for cooking, in line with a loving marriage. Ah, the power of love.

I think there are numerous stories of women who never held or use a kitchen knife before, who turned to take a liking to cooking or baking. The story should be similar to mine, only maybe the trigger is different, some is due to hubby (like my case), some is due to an arrival of a child or children, some just had no reason and picked up cooking and love it. Oh there was one story of a mother who never cooked a day in her life until her kids started school. One day her elder kid came home and said: "Mommy, why do the other kids have lunch boxes prepared by their mothers and I need to buy my food from the canteen? Can I have a lunch box as well?" - that's the trigger for this mother and she is a working mother, mind you.

Well, I guess after you completed your education, whether or not you settle down, at some point, you will realize that boiling water isn't the only thing that you can 'cook'.

Anyway, to make up for my 'lack of time', I usually cook meat dishes in advance and deep freeze them (wait for them to cool down first before packing them into containers). Yup, place them in the freezer.

Plan your menu for the whole week, if you plan to eat Cooked Meal 2 the next day, just place it in the fridge and not the freezer. The reason you place it in the freezer is because you plan to eat it much later. Don't keep it more than a month please. I stick to a 'two week and you're out' policy. I know some people believe in only a week before throwing them out. Some stretch it to a month. Oh well. Up to you!

I usually spend 2-3 hours preparing these dishes. Doesn't matter I only cook for two persons, hubby and me the time is almost the same, I need 7 types of menu as well, so that's the same number of meals everyone need to prepare for a whole week! The trick to cut short preparation time is to use almost the same ingredients and cook them in different styles. Variation comes from a single source anyway.

Oh, I do hate the hot kitchen and the sweat, especially in Malaysia's all-year-round tropical weather. However, when compared to the look of appreciation on my hubby's face, I love him even more and cook even more - hence he has gained a lot of love, food and inevitably weight in these five years of being Sue's husband. ;)

You can control how much salt/ingredient to put into your own cooking, and in the long term, while it may not necessarily be 'cheaper', depending on your situation, it is generally healthier when you prepare your own food at home. :)

Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong. I do get 'off days' or 'lazy days' too. When I get those days, I just say "I don't want to cook" instead of cooking up some excuses (see above). Hubby is sporting and understanding enough to bring me out to eat on these days, or we simply order for pizza delivery or just pack our meals from outside and bring home. Look at it this way: To cook half the time and eat out half the time = half healthy, better than eat out all the time = almost not healthy unless you choose the food carefully. Just a general statement here, don't flame me. Thanks!

Some random pix of my preparation in my kitchen, from marinating, preparing the gravy all the way to freezer. Follow my instagram or twitterat @suetiong for more pix of my cooking. ;)

Beauty and Profitability = a 'deadly' combination

Beauty is but skin deep.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Once you are old, beauty moves from the outside to the inside.

All these are just the tip of the iceberg of many 'beauty sayings' said over the years.

Just look around at the number of beauty salons/spas/outlets that mushroomed in your area. Why do they thrive?

Vanity and the quest for beauty among women? Blame the media for providing us with a twisted standard of
Beauty?

Some are even willing to go under the knife in dubious outlets for cheap fixes and thus risking their lives.

Sigh, the quest for beauty is an immortal quest. People die for immortality. People loses physical beauty as they age.

We can never win. Why don't we just live life happily without worrying about our looks for once?

Pix credit: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4OF0L6sTVLUYXxaPsngXDpoT1v4EyittzBfB-CKVzc8hjngWpfDCluQdTr5y3WrJOwquY-9rMjNUkfrHmNlrSVP14rhzSSEXpK2fBLheuB-9vKjSzaMRUy8BGu_RJ-9xsU3tXCUEKgv4n/s1600/beauty+products+.jpg

Procrastinator? Embracing Procrastination... A reflection on my career

I am a procrastinator. Due to an understanding of that, it comes with 'maturity' to truly see yourself for who you are - a procrastinator who loves the rush of adrenaline when you are striving to meet the deadline, and doing a pretty good job at that - when you meet others of the same nature, i.e. 'practitioners' of procrastination, that sense of 'familiarity' brought back some nostalgic feelings.

I hold the principle that if it doesn't harm anyone, I procrastinate, if it concerns a team, a group or of a larger scale, I finish the task before you can even say start. I am a selective procrastinator that way, I prioritise.

COMMUNICATING IN REAL LIFE AND BEYOND (UTILISING SOCIAL MEDIA)

You see, I have been in my current job for more than three years, and counting. For those uninitiated, I am a lecturer, an educator/teacher, however you call me, I'd like to call myself a communicator as I am sharing what I learned back in university, and also my work experience when I was still 'out there' in the industry - communication - and I find myself 'communicating' to these young people more than 'educating' them anyway. One advantage is that I get at least a third of my yearly number of 'new students' to befriend me on fb annually and I do get some of them as my twitter followers as well.

THE REALITY OF A TEACHING/EDUCATING JOB

However, right from the beginning, I am quite disappointed that the number of 'interaction' hours with the students tend to be lesser than the number of hours I spend pushing papers and deal with red pens (marking) and filling up mountains of forms and preparing reports. I think it is a global phenomenon for educators, the number of hours you actually spend with students are like a third or even a fourth of your whole workload?

YOUNG FOREVER?

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my job - the hours I spent interacting with the kids (I still call them kids in a good way as they are so very young!) reminds me of how beautiful youth is, the youth that is slowly slipping away from the physical body. They keep my spirit 'young' and with that, I feel more energetic and 'alive', hubby always commented on how 'fired up' and high-spirited I am - DAILY - he calls it 'hyper'. :-)

THE TRUE MEANING OF FEELING 'OVERWHELMED'

I never really know the feeling of being 'overwhelmed' till I took on this job.

NOT when I was reporter and the editor was staying back to wait for me to finish my front page news to complete the printing of the front and back page - which was reserved just for my news.

NOT when my neck was on the line when my client was breathing down my neck and shouting on the phone when something 'went wrong' a day before a huge event or when as a PR practitioner, the media attendance was really poor (read: one media turn-up) - we turned it around and somehow did not get overwhelmed and made it positive anyway!

NOT when it was the umpteenth time your client shoved back your work at you and complained your copywriting isn't up to what they were expecting, and finally they settled for the first few drafts you sent in the first place, without realising they themselves rejected it initially. No, those are NOT overwhelming.

NOT when the board of directors dislike the fact that you wrote something without having gone through it with them, despite the fact that you are not supposed to be answering to them anyway. No, not when your career seems to be in a tight fix.

Nope, I never considered those moments 'overwhelming'.

NOT when the office politics got worse and you are on the worst receiving end of it. NO, those are not really overwhelming, it is easy to walk away when you don't really have a reason to stay anyway.

I kinda summarised my entire career's 'most difficult moments' in those few paragraphs.

lol Exciting times.

Really, the rush of adrenaline in the heat of the chase really (still) gets me all fired up. I am THAT kind of person.

OVERWHELMED: MY DEFINITION
Sometimes, it does get stressful with the sheer number of students - average ten classes which translates to over 200 students at any given semester, and multiply that number by three assignments (not including the in-between assignment exercises you give), and at the end of every semester, you get equal number of exam scripts to mark in less than a week (average five working days and sometimes a few more days if you are lucky).

I find that after my regular work hours are over, minus the family meal times, washing up and household chores, and some winding down time with hubby in front of the telly, I need to sacrifice my sleeping time or even my weekends to catch up with the marking that I tend to bring home. Oh, I abhor marking. Detest, hate, shudder with apprehension... however you describe it oh yeah, I really am not a big fan, not even a small fan of marking. If we are talking about an entire class of a single class with only 18-20 students for an entire semester, oh yes, that is fine.

With my current institution, due to its popularity and large intake of students annually, to the extent we only have a single intake yearly as opposed to other instutitions who may have two or three or even four intakes annually, I guess you can say it is worth being proud that our single intake brings in enough number of students, the volume is really overwhelming we need to put a stop to double intakes or more.

QUANTITATIVE LOOK AT THE MEANING OF OVERWHELMING:
It is easy to get 200 students or more under your tutelage at any one time. If you need to spend about 20-30 minutes on a single item to mark, if you have already done the Maths about three paragraphs before, if there are a minimum of 200 students, you should get 600 assignments, and if it is a 'writing' paper, with exercises, with another three exercises (minimum) - add another 600 exercises, and 200 full length exam papers which takes about 30 minutes to fully mark (minimising errors) - so 600+600+200 = 1,400 items = 1,400 x 25 mins (average) = 35,000 minutes = 583 hours and 20 minutes. That is equivalent to 24 days 7 hours and 20 minutes.

And we have to squeeze that into 16 weeks. Each work day, we have 24 hours - Deduct 9 hours for regular work hours - deduct 6 hours daily for sleep (minimum) - deduct 1 hour for personal hygiene stuff - deduct 1 hour for commuting (travelling to and from work, shopping for household products, etc) - deduct 2 hours and 30 minutes for meals (including preparation at home or waiting for food outside) - deduct 30 minutes minimum for household chores, mostly laundry, don't talk about sweeping or mopping, deduct 1 hour for cuddling/telly time/chatting with your partner. That is not including 1 hour of catching up with the news, going online to check mails, some family time - calling up your parents/in-laws, and doesn't include maybe another 1 hour to engage in social media - 15 mins on twitter, 15 mins on fb, nah, who am I kidding, we need to do that twice to be fully engaged in social media - so an hour a day it is.

How many hours are you left with in a day? Exactly ONE HOUR left.
And I don't have kids yet. If I have kids, then that precious one hour will be taken away. Poof. So where do I squeeze in the marking? Spoken like a true procrastinator, back to the topic at hand.

By the end of the day, when you are winding down, the last thing you wanna look at are scores of 'mistakes' and half-hearted attempts of courseworks/assignments/work, however you call it. Maybe about 10% of them would be 'gems', truly a delight to mark but if you think of the rest of the 90%, it really takes away my appetite for even my favourite food. We haven't even factored in the time every lecturer need to prepare for lessons, research time, etc. Something's gotta give. Don't we have some personal me time? I haven't stepped into a spa or salon for the longest time!

For weekends, out of that 24 hours - we tend to have 'more time' to relax, or so we thought.

SACRIFICES
It is only a sacrifice if you don't enjoy doing it and I DON'T. So you sacrifice your sleep (I've stayed up all night and only took a nap at 7am before waking up at 9am to submit the scrips), your family time (thank Goodness for understanding spouses), your weekends are gone, bye!! and who even have time for some 'me time'?

DISHEARTENING, DISAPPOINTING OUTCOME
It does get very disappointing sometimes when you have repeated the same thing for 14 weeks since the first lecture and yet, at the finishing mark, where all runners reach the final destination, they just 'don't get it' and did exactly what you told them NOT to do.

Whose fault it is?
I do take it very hard and feel very bad when students fail or fail to achieve even a minimum pass. Even with a lot of 'hand-holding' and guidance, I find that there will still be 10% who just refuse to listen or just plainly ignore what you say. Such blatant disregard do make me lose it sometimes but I rarely show it in front of anyone.

The kids tend to skip lectures, there are those who diligently attend each lecture, rain or shine, with or without 'traffic jams', fatigue or illness.

Then why do those who chose to skip lectures cannot emulate those who diligently attend each lecture?
Answer: BLATANT DISREGARD and IGNORING BASIC MORAL VALUES LIKE RESPECT for others.

It makes my blood boil everytime these SAME STUDENTS ask for exam tips or say: "Please, give us very 'specific guidelines', Miss" - I feel like they are making fun of the entire semester and disregarding everyone's efforts the entire four months. Who are you to come at the end of the semester that once or twice to DEMAND FOR SOMETHING you don't even deserve?

Some even blatantly, albeit jokingly, asked for the actual questions. You might as well break into the safe and get caught and get expelled or worse, go serve your time in jail. You wanna drag me down with such a stupid request? What's the use of attending college/university when you don't wish to use your brain?

Yes, we can procrastinate, but not at the expense of others. If it only concerns you and your personal well-being, so be it.

However, if you are in a group, or a whole big system, just one weak link will cause the entire system to fail. Don't forget that every young person will grow up to be older and be part of the system that forms the society. We are all interconnected and what you do or say will affect others.

Oh yes, I have taken some harsh actions and said some hard-to-swallow remarks especially in the heat of the moment, which I am reflecting on right now. Some people just cannot take it, hence they lashed back the best way they can by complaining or b*tching about it online. Hey, what goes around, comes around, you think we are still in the Stone Ages? This is the Digital Age where nothing escapes anyone!

Your reputation is what people think you are; your character is what you are.

I guess I am comfortable enough in my skin to not really care about either. I have a pretty good reputation and I love my colourful character. We cannot please everyone!

Anyway, at the end of each semester, I do realise I am a forgiving person. I don't hold grudges as it really will eat you up inside, and I do forgive these kids who have 'trespassed', and ultimately, youth is when you are supposed to make mistakes. I blame youth and not the humans.

Related Post: Career Change? What Made Me Stick Around?

How to Stop Coughing - temporary reliefs

When you are suffering from a coughing spell, which sometimes may last a few days or a few weeks, there really isn't a remedy until time takes its course and you recover.

However, there are some temporary reliefs, especially when you need to catch some sleep or much needed rest!

Having suffered from the present bout of cough and cold for about a month, I found these very useful to catch some relief from coughing, especially when you are lying down, that's when it attacks the most for me!

1. Try lying down on your sides and not on your back so the mucus or phlegm won't be able to accumulated directly or something like that and your throat won't be irritated (that much), if all else fails you need to cough into your pillow to muffle the sound of coughing.

2. Get cough medicines that clears your phlegm or soothes dry throat - you first need to determine what kind of cough are you having. Ivy leaf extract cough medicine works well for dry throat. Chesty cough seems to settle with medicine with 'cool' effects to clear the phlegm.

3. If all else fails, try to forget about oral cavity and suckle on a medicated cough drop under your tongue and try to sleep, usually it works for me!

Another belief is that you may be 'cold' hence your cough is 'cold', too much Yin energy (as in Yin and Yang) and one thing you can do is to apply a vapor rub (such as Vicks Vapour Rub) on the whole of your sole and wear thick socks and you should sleep though the night.

If you are too 'hot', too much Yang energy, you need to 'cool down' by taking herbal brews of chrysanthemum and honey with lemon/lime to cool down. It's a Chinese belief - this heat and cool. Your body is Heaty when your phlegm is yellow and your body is cool when your phlegm is greenish/dark grey with a hint of yellow, and if it is white, either that is just your spit (saliva) or you are recovering (finally).

May my cough go away soon enough. One month is a tad too long!

Why do canteen food still taste like 'canteen food'?

I just had canteen food after quite some time. Sad to say, canteen food here tasted almost the same as the canteen food I had back in my school days.

As an educator (I'd like to call myself a 'communicator' as I find myself communicating more than educating) sometimes the schedule is just too packed you barely have the luxury of a proper lunch break, usually off campus, and today was one of those days.

Grabbed a ham and eggs with margarine sandwich and tried a sausage with margarine sandwich. Mayonnaise-free sandwiches are really dry!!! Healthy? Not so sure about that as the egg was fried instead of boiled then scrambled. The meat was fried as well. The bread was really dry. My first and the last eating or grabbing food from that canteen!

Shall stick to the more expensive campus cafes next time!