3M - Membaca, Mengira Dan Menulis (Bahasa Malaysia post) - Bagaimanajika anak anda lambat bercakap?

Sistem persekolahan di Malaysia berteraskan satu misi - iaitu murid-murid sekolah rendah (7 sehingga 12 tahun) seharusnya menghabiskan 6 tahun yang diwajibkan oleh undang-undang kerajaan Malaysia di sekolah dan kanak-kanak tersebut sepatutnya mencapai kemahiran asas dalam 3M, iaitu Membaca, Menulis dan Mengira.

Sebenarnya saya tidak begitu pasti sama ada mengira atau menulis yang ditulis dahulu selepas membaca, oleh itu saya menulis kedua-duanya sekali - sekali di tajuk dan sekali di perenggan ini.

Setahu saya, konsep 3M telah pun diterapkan dalam sistem pendidikan Malaysia sejak zaman 'Pelajaran' dahulu, sebelum semuanya diseragamkan kepada 'Pendidikan'.

Saya ingin berkongsi pengalaman dan beberapa anekdot (ringkasan kisah benar) berkenaan sistem pelajaran Malaysia, terutamanya sistem pendidikan sekolah rendah di Malaysia.

Bukan setiap pelajar yang berumur 7 tahun (pada 31 Disember tahun itu atau 1 Jan tahun seterusnya) yang melangkah masuk ke Tahap 1, iaitu Tahun 1 (Darjah 1) tahu membaca atau menulis. Walaupun rata-rata kanak-kanak dihantar ke prasekolah, masih terdapat segelintir keluarga yang tidak mampu menghantar anak-anak ke sekolah sebelum mereka diwajibkan untuk ke sekolah semasa berumur 7 tahun. Oleh itu, di sesetengah kawasan, para guru terpaksa menangani masalah jurang Tahap kemahiran 3M di kalangan para pelajar.

Saya masih ingat lagi, para guru menunjukkan rasa bangga apabila murid-murid 'pandai' menunjukkan kemahiran mereka menulis 26 abjad/huruf dan melafazkan semua suku kata tanpa cacat cela. Apabila murid membisukan diri, mereka disindir dan dikatakan 'bodoh' dan banyak lagi kata-kata yang seumpamanya. Apabila difikirkan balik, saya gerun merenungkan trauma/kesan psikologi ke atas murid-murid yang diketawakan oleh seluruh kelas kerana 'bodoh'. Para guru (bukan semua, segelintir sahaja) menunjukkan kepada kanak-kanak bimbingan mereka yang tidak mengapa sekiranya kita mentertawakan orang yang tidak dapat memenuhi kehendak masyarakat iaitu Tahap pembelajaran yang asas. Sekiranya lambat sedikit dalam penguasaan akademik, terus ditertawakan dan dikatakan 'bodoh'.

Mengapa tiba-tiba jer tergerak hati menulis artikel ni?

Sahabat baik saya, panggillah dia Puan A, berkongsi luahan hati tidak lama dulu. Anak lelakinya, N, masih tidak dapat bercakap dengan normal walaupun usianya sudah menjangkau 6 tahun. Puan A sangat risau bagaimana N akan menyesuaikan diri dengan persekitaran semasa melangkah masuk ke Darjah 1 tahun depan (2013). Beliau takut anaknya akan dihina hanya kerana anaknya lambat bercakap daripada kanak-kanak lain yang 'normal'.

"Percayalah, Sue, kami telah menghantar N ke klinik pakar kerajaan, macam-macam ujian dah dijalankan, anak kami normal, bukan autistik (autisme), hanya lambat bercakap jer. Ramai orang mengata yang kami suami isteri tidak menjalankan tanggungjawab sebaiknya sebagai ibu bapa. Kami pun tidak ingin N menjadi begini! Kakak N tiada masalah bercakap pun. Paling menyakitkan hati apabila orang menjeling anak kami yang mengeluarkan kata-kata yang tidak difahami seperti 'ya ya ta ta' sambil menunjuk sesuatu yang menarik perhatiannya. Lebih-lebih lagi salah seorang doktor pakar yang pernah kami jumpa seolah-olah menganggap yang anak kami, N, itu gila," keluh Puan A.

Puan A takut anaknya digelar 'bodoh' tahun depan di sekolah rendah. Sekarang, N bersekolah di tadika berdekatan rumah yang mempunyai cikgu-cikgu yang memahami keadaan kanak-kanak ini dan tidak menunjukkan rasa tidak sabar atau marah-marah terhadap kekurangan kemahiran bercakap N.

Saya rasa, walaupun minoriti, mesti ada kanak-kanak yang sebegitu rata-rata di seluruh dunia, dan ibu bapa mereka sudah tentunya berasa 'terperangkap' oleh keadaan yang di luar kawalan mereka.

Balik kepada kenangan zaman persekolahan saya dahulu, saya ingat ada seorang budak lelaki yang berpindah ke sekolah kami semasa Darjah 4, ini saya gunakan nama sebenarnya, Larry namanya. Larry berpindah dari kampung dan kami terkejut yang dia tidak tahu membaca atau menulis dan kami mentertawakannya. Hasil kelas pemulihan sehingga ke Darjah 6, Larry mampu menulis A-Z tetapi terpaksa menyebut suku kata secara berasingan sebelum menggabungkan dua suku kata menjadi satu perkataan, contoh ya "S-A sa Y-A ya, saya".

Menurut kawan-kawan sekelas, Larry balik ke kampung selepas tamat Darjah 6 dan tiada berita mengenainya selepas itu.

Sekiranya kita mementingkan hak yang setara untuk semua kanak-kanak dalam pendidikan supaya menjadi insan yang berguna dalam masyarakat, dalam kes-kes istimewa bagi kanak-kanak normal yang hanya 'lambat' tetapi tidak cukup lambat untuk dikelaskan sebagai 'slow-learner' yakni tidak dapat menyertai kelas PKBP (bagi kanak-kanak yang bermasalah pembelajaran), sesuatu haruslah dilakukan untuk kumpulan kanak-kanak 'perantaraan' seperti N dan Larry.

Sekadar berkongsi, bukannya untuk mentohmah sesiapa ataupun mana-mana pihak.

Anda mungkin tertarik untuk membaca hasil nukilan seterusnya:

I plan to translate this blogpost into English soon.

My Baby Sister's Birthday - Happy Birthday, Wei (Abby)!

Today, Aug 5th is my baby sister's birthday.

Instead of imagining her as her present adult self, I always have this image of her chubby baby face, literally as a cute toddler in my mind whenever I think of her.

I guess this is almost as close to the 'my child will always be my baby' mentality, only I am in the elder sister's role.

A blur pix from the past when my sister was a wee baby, the cutest baby ever!!! For the record, I am the elder sister, just in case anyone missed the point. :)

My sis and I have a funny relationship. We did not really 'click' until our age gap became closer, yeah right, as if we could change the year we were born.

What I mean is: When I was talking about boys, she was still talking about dolls. Then when I entered uni, she was still in school. Then I started to work, and she was still in school. Then I got my Masters, she only entered uni. Then I got married, she was still single and still in uni. You get the drift.

It wasn't until after I get married, and she started working herself, and then she got herself a guy and started a decent relationship, that we started to really click.

Before that it was more of a one-way-spoiling relationship.

I love spoiling her with gifts. Oh, she does give me gifts as well, more so now that she's working (and after me 'complaining' it has been mostly one-way and it's high time she reciprocate accordingly now that she's working as well!)

Heck, the first present I could recall her giving me was from a thrift shop - a cute plushie mobile phone holder, she was in uni when she gave me that birthday present. Then... nada. Cards don't count. hahaha. Okay, I am not gonna record all the presents or non-presents from my sister, I am more magnanimous than that! My point is, I love showering my sister with gifts! There was one year I gave her a gift every single month leading to her birthday. Small gifts, just because.

I repeat, I love showering my sister with gifts! Once, I recalled it was the year I was getting married and our extended family came down to follow the bride during the 'actual' day reception at the groom's side - in Chinese weddings, the groom's side is considered the tradition/ceremonial and the penultimate 'recognition' a couple gets to be recognised as a socially-recognised-married couple. I digress.

That year was 2007. We have a younger girl cousin who is the youngest daughter of my aunt. Oh, if that was the incident, it should be a year before my wedding. In December 2006 or was it 2005, my aunt's family visited us and we went shopping. As usual, being females, we shopped for shoes and clothes. Then, just when I was paying at the counter, my sister casually inserted a few items of her own and told me she wanted them, I agreed to pay for them without any resistence, then she added a few more items she fancied and I did not react negatively at all. Then our cousin Samantha reacted, she exclaimed loudly: "Ah ney hor eh!!! So good!!! My elder brothers never bought anything for me so willingly!" My sister smiled sheepishly and I didn't think much about it but I felt good as I made my sister feel good about it too.

Then when I got married, naturally, my sister became my bridesmaid. Erm... Maid of Honour. As per the customs, if we are to follow tradition, the bride and the groom are supposed to bestow gifts and tokens of appreciation to the Maid of Honour. In Chinese customs, we have a very practical gift, a traditional practice of giving 'red packets' or 'red envelopes' or "Hong Bao or Angpow" with money (usually notes and not coins) inside as a form of 'blessings'. Consider it similar to gift vouchers in the Western culture.

As per my habit with my only sister, I gave her not only a token of appreciation in a red packet WITH MONEY, of course, a pair of yellow gold earrings studs in heart-shape with diamond studs (not sure if I am making sense here), and many other smaller gifts.
She kept complaning she was very tired, having to manage so many things during my two wedding receptions, and I didn't think much about that and gave her more gifts to shut her up anyway.

It was a few months later when her best friend Alicia came for a sleepover where the Maid of Honour tokens of appreciation cropped up in our conversation that my sister shut her friend up immediately when Alicia said: "But you have so many things from your sister! When I was the maid of honour for my elder sister, I got so little...." she was cut short. My sister didn't want me to know that I over-gifted her... hahaha, sis, even if you didn't stop Alicia, I won't ask for the gifts back, I gave them to you because I wanted you to have them in the first place!

Everytime I returned from any overseas trip, I would buy something for my sister. Her collection of plushies (soft toys) from me are uncountable! I even exchange 'stamps' to redeem for cute plushies and thought of her when I shop to get more stamps.

As we share almost the same dress/top size, I know how to shop for her and I remember the first top I bought her was during my first job - I was a reporter and I went to Langkawi island in my first month of starting my job. I bought two shirts - a cream and a pink one and she still wears them till today - I have been working for 10 years up to 2012, so that's how old those shirts are today!

Since then, I have bought dresses, gowns, evening gowns, maxi dresses, blouse and tops or T-Shirts for no special reason, or on special occassion or just because for my little sister. When I got my first VS brassiere from the US, I knew her size and let her try on my whole selection (shopping loot) and let her choose two from the loot. FOR FREE! VS = Victoria's Secret for those uninitiated. We don't have VS over here in our country so it was a real treat!

Okay, this is becoming a journal to chronicle my gifts to my sister!!!

AHEM ************************************************************************

Dear sister,

You are my only sister, my only birth sister anyway, and I love you dearly. If those gifts are not enough to represent my love for you, then there is still another half a lifetime (provided I live to my 60s) to make it up to you.

Happy Birthday, Wei (Abby), do know that no matter what happens you have an elder sister you can count on, no matter how sarcastic my remarks are, know that deep down, I really care and will always love you as my baby sister.

Love, Jie (Jie - pronounced jeeyay is Chinese Mandarin word for elder sis)

Pix Taken During our only brother's wedding in Nov 2011 - we wore the same shade of colour without planning beforehand, talk about sisters' intuition! She is my younger sister, so of course she looks younger, she is the one on the right, just in case you mix us up. lol

CONDITIONAL LOVE: Mommy I love you, thank you for buying me ice-cream.

"Mommy I love you... " that phrase made hearts melt.. but not the following phrase that comes with it - "Thank you for buying me ice-cream."

I couldn't help but chuckle softly and turned over to my right and sure enough hubby was suppressing a grin. The little boy of about 6 or 7 was walking with his mommy one fine evening in Singapore during our Sept 2011 trip, and we happened to be within earshot of the cute exchange.

If I remember correctly, children does not really 'love' or learn to love unconditionally until they have 'matured' into an adult, at least that is what my Psychology classes taught me last time during my undergrad years. Imagine you are born and everything revolves around you from infancy right up to childhood, and you cannot help but have this self-centered mind-set and imagine the rebellion when some 'sense of responsibility' were being forced upon these self-centered individuals who had everything served right up to their hands/mouth all these while, and then we have this thing called the rebellious teens. Not a surprise why they rebel, isn't it? They have been conditioned that way, and suddenly you are changing the rules? Kinda unfair if you ask me... lol, anyway, it's part of the growing pains.


I don't know, I don't have children myself, but I do have goddaughters, two of them and I love them to bits, I know they love me as their godmother but to what extent, I am not disillusioned, they love me for the gifts I supply on a regular basis, like more than a couple of times a year. Proof? They finally verbalised it, or rather, the elder girl, when I arrived at the airport and followed her parents (my friends) to pick her up from school, the first thing she said was "Mommy Sue, where is my birthday present?", it was her birthday a couple of years back. I think as children, they quantify love to the amount/total of gifts you give them?
Anyway, she is turning 11 this year and her sister, my younger goddaughter is turning 9, and I had a glimpse of what kind of teenagers they would grow up to the last time I saw them as I slept with them my entire trip there and we had some girly chat before going to sleep.

Hmmm.... let's hope their tween (pre-teen) years are prolonged and still keep the innocence around them, they still believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, thanks to their mother, my good frend Audrey who wanted to provide/preserve the sanctity of a childhood in today's harsh world. Instead of a coin, Audrey gave her girls 5 bucks for each tooth under their pillow, *salute* I didn't even have any when I was a little girl!!!

Back to conditional love, it is quite disheartening to see that some children never grew out of their infancy, i.e. adults who are self-centered and hardly make the effort to expand their view/horizon. "Of course I love you, honey, you are so beautiful".... five or ten years later, they are no more beautiful or sweet anymore and they move on.

Infidelity aside, we have people who don't treasure relationships of any kind and for them, it all boils down to "how much is she/he of use to me and what does it matter to me?" Hence with these kind of people, friendship has an 'expiry date'. When they feel that you are of no more use to them, you are considered expired friends and they cease to even make effort to be friends with you anymore.

That, my friends, is called Conditional Love. Maybe not 'LOVE', Love, maybe conditional relationship. Nope, conditional ties is more like it, relationship takes a lot of work, so they just form ties that are easy to cut off after it has run its course.

I have learned to not really care about these 'children/kidults (kid+adults) who never grew out of their infancy' and their self-centered little world over the years. Of course that is learned through many bitter and painful experiences with such people whom you thought were your 'true friends'. Oh well, good riddance I guess. I have more like-minded people whom I call friends in later part of my life and there is nothing that I would change about them!

Here's a toast to maintaining a good relationship with as little conditions as possible! Happy relationships, everyone!!!

Why do I get called Auntie instead of "kakak" by a 20-year-old? 1Malaysia Dapat ke Tak direalisasikan?

I don't know why but a Malay woman my age (early 30s) would be called "kakak", which is the equivalent of "sister" by a young 20-year-old Malay but the moment they see this Chinese-descent-me of the same age as the earlier "sister", 9 out of 10 times, they will address me as "auntie" instead. That would be the equivalent of "makcik" in the Malay language - usually we reserve this for people who are at least 20 or more years older than the person who say it out of respect.

I understand that calling me "Auntie" is like bestowing me the respect that is much better than "Oy" or "eh" but I cannot stand it after some time and yes, I am irked!

BM (Bahasa Malaysia - Malaysian national language) post ahead.

Mengapakah saya dinaikkan 'pangkat' dan sekaligus, ditambahkan 'umur' saya hanya kerana saya seorang Cina dan bukan Melayu?

Memang betul nama saya Cina, ibu bapa dan seluruh keluarga saya Cina, bahasa ibunda saya di rumah Cina dan darah saya memang Cina, tapi darah saya berwarna merah juga, saya dilahirkan di Malaysia, tanah air semua rakyat Malaysia, malah, saya TIDAK PERNAH menghadiri sekolah Cina - ibu saya menghantar saya ke sekolah kebangsaan dan Bahasa Melayu merupakan bahasa formal pertama saya sementara Bahasa Inggeris bahasa kedua saya sejak kecil lagi. 

Saya membesar dengan memori mencuit hati selama ENAM TAHUN di sekolah rendah dengan kawan-kawan bumiputera di Sarawak, termasuk dua orang kawan Melayu dan seorang lagi lelaki Cina di dalam kelas saya. Saya masih ingat lagi, cara kami menyebut sukukata adalah dengan begitu bakunya sekali. Sa - Saaaaa Ya - Yaaaaa. Semua itu berubah dengan asimilasi masyarakat apabila kami masing-masing membawa diri ke sekolah menengah yang berlainan, dan percaya atau tidak, saya hanya mula bertutur Bahasa Melayu Sarawak, dialek unik negeri Kenyalang dalam Tingkatan Satu.

Bahasa Melayu saya adalah lebih 'mantap' berbanding bahasa ibunda saya kerana saya sekadar pandai bertutur Cina tetapi sebenarnya hanya mengenali beberapa patah perkataan setaraf budak Tadika kerana tidak pernah menerima pendidikan formal Bahasa Cina. Cina celuplah saya ni. 

Oleh itu, sila bercakap dengan saya dalam Bahasa Kebangsaan. Saya amat selesa bertutur dalam Bahasa Kebangsaan kita. Janganlah hairan jika anda mendengar pertuturan petahku, memang Bahasa Melayu bahasa pertama saya sejak kecil lagi, teman sepermainan saya semuanya bertutur dalam Bahasa Melayu, sehingga sekarang.

Tidak payahlah anda tergamam apabila ingin memasukkan saya ke dalam 'kategori kaum stereotaip' tetapi anda ragu-ragu sebab saya suka mengenakan pakaian tradisional Melayu seperti baju kurung dan baju kebaya labuh.

Apabila anda memulakan sapaan dengan Bahasa Inggeris, saya menyapa dengan "Apa Khabar?" "terima kasih" dengan tiada pelat langsung, tidak payahlah anda bertanya, "Eh, Cina ke Melayu?"

Selalunya, saya menjawab soalan itu dengan senyuman, sekadar bertanya balik "Mengapa? Penting ke? Saya orang Malaysia," selalunya mereka akan kebingungan.


Entahlah. Rasanya semangat 1Malaysia masih tidak dapat betul-betul dihayati sepenuhnya sekiranya kita masih di takuk lama. 

Malaysia bukan semata-mata hanya ada TIGA kaum utama! Bagaimana dengan kaum-kaum/etnik lain di Malaysia Timur?

Seperti mana kami di Bumi Kenyalang dan Negeri di Bawah Bayu mengenali yang Pulau Pinang dan Melaka pernah menjadi Negeri-Negeri Selat dengan Singapura, serta sangat jelas yang Adat Perpatih diamalkan di Negeri Sembilan, mengetahui yang Rantau Panjang terletak di Kelantan, adalah adil dan TIDAK KETERLALUAN untuk anda mengetahui yang Iban adalah kaum majoriti di Sarawak dan BUKANNYA Sabah, begitu juga satu lagi pengetahuan am yang kaum Kadazan berasal dari Sarawak, BUKANLAH, dari Sabah ba!

Untuk mengatakan Sabah dan Sarawak adalah tempat dan negeri yang sama, dan apabila dibetulkan, anda mengata "TIDAK MENGAPA" kerana anda salah anggap, Tidak Boleh dimaafkan! Adakah Johor dan Perlis negeri yang sama? Kerana itulah perbandingan jarak secara kasarnya di antara Tip of Borneo di Sabah sehingga ke selatan Sarawak.

Cukuplah leteran saya yang panjang ini. Nanti dikatakan saya ingin mencetuskan isu perkauman pula. Ini hanya rintihan hati dan keluhan naluri yang terpendam selama ini. Saya cintakan tanah air ini, kita sebenarnya tidak banyak berbeza, mengapakah perlu terus membezakan sesama sendiri dan mengkategorikan semua insan ke dalam acuan lama?

Majulah Malaysia mengikut peredaran zaman. Semoga doa ikhlas ini untuk mencapai Bangsa Malaysia yang aman dan betul-betul harmoni dan muhibah, termakbul juga suatu hari nanti.

Anda mungkin tertarik untuk membaca hasil nukilan seterusnya: http://suesanctuary.blogspot.com/2012/08/3m-membaca-mengira-dan-menulis-bahasa.html