Have you ever been stumped for words when you should have said something?
Or have you just chosen not to say something just because you don't want to or you can't?
I don't know about you, but sometimes too many things happen at the same time that you don't know what to say, hence it may be one of the times when you have nothing to say, really.
Anyway, some food for thought and here's to a good ending to the year in this last quarter of 2012.
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Sunday, 25 September 2011
An Eventful Rainy Sunday
What a day!
It's a rainy Sunday morning, the best setting for you to sleep in and get up later than usual, but that's not to be as I needed to 'show face' at work for an event, awaken rudely from my sleep by my colleague who arrived earlier, and there's something wrong at the event.
As I was getting in my car, tried the key on the ignition and there's no roaring sound of the engine, battery weak, I guess, and my alarm went off like a mad woman roaring on such a sweet to sleep-in-Sunday morning. Grrr. Called hubby and he drove his car to beside mine and I let him handle my car while I drove to work in his car. Thank Goodness for sweet hubbies!
Everything was rather okay after that, then the last straw came - I lost my phone at the end of the day and I didn't even know how I lost it.
Called the service provider and the policy is that I would need to pay to get my number back, I'd rather get a new number with pre-loaded credit or something rather than pay to get my number back! Or just get a new number and don't even have to pay anything!
So, this ends my Sunday. I'm kinda happy though, cos many happy things happened in between these 'events'... what an eventful Sunday, and had a fun time with my family, material possessions if lost, can be bought again, families are here at this moment but life is fragile, hence treasure them while you can! Like what my colleague always said: 'Family - No.1'
It's a rainy Sunday morning, the best setting for you to sleep in and get up later than usual, but that's not to be as I needed to 'show face' at work for an event, awaken rudely from my sleep by my colleague who arrived earlier, and there's something wrong at the event.
As I was getting in my car, tried the key on the ignition and there's no roaring sound of the engine, battery weak, I guess, and my alarm went off like a mad woman roaring on such a sweet to sleep-in-Sunday morning. Grrr. Called hubby and he drove his car to beside mine and I let him handle my car while I drove to work in his car. Thank Goodness for sweet hubbies!
Everything was rather okay after that, then the last straw came - I lost my phone at the end of the day and I didn't even know how I lost it.
Called the service provider and the policy is that I would need to pay to get my number back, I'd rather get a new number with pre-loaded credit or something rather than pay to get my number back! Or just get a new number and don't even have to pay anything!
So, this ends my Sunday. I'm kinda happy though, cos many happy things happened in between these 'events'... what an eventful Sunday, and had a fun time with my family, material possessions if lost, can be bought again, families are here at this moment but life is fragile, hence treasure them while you can! Like what my colleague always said: 'Family - No.1'
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Trying to Deal with Jealousy While TTC
For those in the know, you will know that TTC stands for Trying To Conceive. Hubby and I have been TTC for the past four years and still counting. We are still waiting and hopeful for our first child. There, I tried successfully to phrase that positively instead of the doom's day thoughts of childless, hopeless, frustration, etc. Anyway, I digress.
We are humans. The saying keeping up with the Joneses isn't there for nothing. There is some level of envy whenever others have something/someone that we don't have (yet) and hope to have. It is on the most personal level when it has got to do with having your own child/trying to get pregnant as the process of doing so is either through the taboo subject of sex, or via the laboratory test tubes/petri dishes which can seem impersonal/too personal and almost painful to talk about.
On a scale of one being the least and 10 being the most, I would say when I'm with friends, in the public, my level of jealousy for another expecting mother would be almost zero. I genuinely care and usually are happy for pregnant friends/relatives. I love looking at pregnant women and it makes me smile to think of the happiness the family must be having, expecting a new life into their home.
However, when I'm alone and in that private setting, melancholy will set in as the magnamity of my 'loneliness' that we women feel can only be filled by a child to call our own will allow jealousy to kick in - that at a terrifying scale of 8-10. I'm being very honest here, the nights you lay and the thoughts of wanting a child so much you feel you could die, and then reflecting on the most recent news of Ann who just broke the news that she's pregnant. Or hear from an elder in the family that her friend's daughter is pregnant only after less than 6 months of marriage, etc.etc.
A simple google search gave me this link: http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-do-i-deal-with-my-jealousy-of-my-pregnant-friends_500623_1.bc
There are so many who are TTC that feel the same way, and I know that since Day 1 of my long journey that hasn't seen the finishing line yet - so I don't feel so bad now.
The percentage of my negative feelings vs positive feelings is like maybe 20% of very intense negative feelings as opposed to 80% positive feelings for those I know who are expecting. Initially I was VERY obsessed about TTC and the jealousy is like 50% 50%. Now I'm becoming more accepting, I guess, but still hopeful and trying not to hard. That is after four years of self-reflection and of course, self-forgiveness, or at least trying not to blame myself for my state, which is more of a medical condition and not a matter of just relaxing and you'll pop out a baby in no time.
I found a cool video on how to deal with your feelings when you are the the worst time of the month when you found out you are not pregnant: http://www.fertilemindset.tv/2010/10/most-difficult-time-of-month.html
The TTC journey is hard, some had their marriage broken as both partners could not cope, but some are even more in love after the trial, with or without children in the end. I have my husband to thank for support and we really have grown so much together emotionally in this roller coaster journey of TTC. Baby dust to all who are in the same TTC journey.
We are humans. The saying keeping up with the Joneses isn't there for nothing. There is some level of envy whenever others have something/someone that we don't have (yet) and hope to have. It is on the most personal level when it has got to do with having your own child/trying to get pregnant as the process of doing so is either through the taboo subject of sex, or via the laboratory test tubes/petri dishes which can seem impersonal/too personal and almost painful to talk about.
On a scale of one being the least and 10 being the most, I would say when I'm with friends, in the public, my level of jealousy for another expecting mother would be almost zero. I genuinely care and usually are happy for pregnant friends/relatives. I love looking at pregnant women and it makes me smile to think of the happiness the family must be having, expecting a new life into their home.
However, when I'm alone and in that private setting, melancholy will set in as the magnamity of my 'loneliness' that we women feel can only be filled by a child to call our own will allow jealousy to kick in - that at a terrifying scale of 8-10. I'm being very honest here, the nights you lay and the thoughts of wanting a child so much you feel you could die, and then reflecting on the most recent news of Ann who just broke the news that she's pregnant. Or hear from an elder in the family that her friend's daughter is pregnant only after less than 6 months of marriage, etc.etc.
A simple google search gave me this link: http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-do-i-deal-with-my-jealousy-of-my-pregnant-friends_500623_1.bc
There are so many who are TTC that feel the same way, and I know that since Day 1 of my long journey that hasn't seen the finishing line yet - so I don't feel so bad now.
The percentage of my negative feelings vs positive feelings is like maybe 20% of very intense negative feelings as opposed to 80% positive feelings for those I know who are expecting. Initially I was VERY obsessed about TTC and the jealousy is like 50% 50%. Now I'm becoming more accepting, I guess, but still hopeful and trying not to hard. That is after four years of self-reflection and of course, self-forgiveness, or at least trying not to blame myself for my state, which is more of a medical condition and not a matter of just relaxing and you'll pop out a baby in no time.
I found a cool video on how to deal with your feelings when you are the the worst time of the month when you found out you are not pregnant: http://www.fertilemindset.tv/2010/10/most-difficult-time-of-month.html
The TTC journey is hard, some had their marriage broken as both partners could not cope, but some are even more in love after the trial, with or without children in the end. I have my husband to thank for support and we really have grown so much together emotionally in this roller coaster journey of TTC. Baby dust to all who are in the same TTC journey.
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