Friday, 4 September 2009

WHEN LIFE GETS TOO MUCH.. time to let some things go

I seriously think it's time to let go of some of the things on my plate to fully live my life.

Who matters most in your life? For some, your career, for others, your family, love, children, parents, spouse, philantrophic activities, your belief, a cause you've pledged to, for each individual they vary. But I do know what is most important to me: MY FAMILIES.. why the plural?

1. My in-laws, my husband's siblings, my husband's clan - they are considered a separate family. And I do love them, after two years of marriage, I have embraced them as my family, not integrated with my own, the family I was born into is totally different from them, but when I'm with them I feel at home, and I am comfortable enough.

2. My own family, the family who gave life to me and raised me and the whole clan who cared about me up to my wedding day in 2007. Heck, my clan on my mother's side even flew all the way across the miles and over the South China Sea out of their own expenses to 'accompany the bride' into her 'new family' - Asian Chinese are like that, very closely-knitted, especially the traditional families.

3. My own unit cell- my family - my husband. We've been trying to make our nuclear family into three or maybe four for two years now. Taking one day at a time, and trying to adopt the come-what-may-approach. I love him in a way I have never loved anyone before, and there are times when I look at him and still pause in wonder at how love works in life. He's not my first love, but I would say he's my first MATURE love, and I find myself loving him more and more everyday, corny yeah.. but true love is overrated. Each love at each stage of your life, they are Real, true love, cos you believe it was true at that point in life, just the level of maturity could be different?

4. My friends - who are as close as you can get, to your real family. My god-daughters, they belong to my good friend whom I have known since I started primary (elementary) school. Audrey's girls look a bit like me that when I post their pix up on facebook or previously on friendster, people thought I have two girls of my own! :-D I have good girlfriends too and I love catching up with them.. but catching up is a luxury I can hardly afford nowadays.. too pressed for time!

REACHED THE LIMIT

I knew I've pushed the limit when I had to postpone a 'catching-up' session with a girl friend not ONCE but TWICE due to other commitments, the commitment you call work and other after work activities.

I reflected and seriously think I'm trying to spread myself too thin and enough is enough. Cramming too many things into 24 hours certainly has worked up to this point but I am actually at the tipping point.. I can see I'm slowly losing the balance and I need to remove many things in the form of commitment from my life.

Simple is good. Simplicity can NEVER be overrated. So I have made up my mind, clear and simple. I'm good, and I'm loving life.

Here's to a final month reflection of my whole 2009 before my birthday in October. Happy early birthday to me.

1 comment:

sonja said...

Hi Sue, I think you are right when you say that for you, and for me too, family comes first. If you were raised in a family that celebrated and honored you as you became yourself, loving and caring for those people in the family is a part of identity and cultural affirmation. Fortunate are we, to come from such family backgrounds that supported us!

There are other families that are toxic to the soul of the person who "escapes" from that up-bringing. Especially for those people it is nice to "build" a family out of those who become their supportive celebratory friends. No one should be without some form of support in society. We reflect on those around us and look to see ourselves mirrored back to us.

Each relationship is world unto itself full of possibility! Thanks for sharing your feelings on this topic. I am sure you bring great joy to those in your circles!