February 2012

It's already the second month of the new year and I feel like time flies, maybe that'a a good thing because time seems to drag when it's not a good thing, so I guess good things are happening in my life so far! :D Will find the mojo to post more. Till then, adieu!

Strange Dreams and Chinese New Year 2012

I have some strange dreams lately. First it was about piles and piles of papers, and the intense feeling of frustration, like a room full of papers and I'm in the middle of them. That was during the time when I needed to complete my 200+ scripts of marking, the students had their final exams just earlier this month, this year. They needed to slog for revision for exams during New Year's eve, poor college kids. And poor lecturers/markers who need to slog just before Chinese New Year on Jan 23, 2012! Anyway, I digress. The other strange dream I remembered more vividly. In my dream, I was back in my hometown (which isn't where I primarily stay right now), was packing up the suitcase of things I needed to bring to my mother-in-law, she instructed me to pack many things for her, and somehow I dropped the luggage/baggage in the car and drove to the bus station and I remembered in the dream that the bus won't be leaving soon, and will be parked there, and I had enough time to drop the bag in the bus, then come back to board the bus myself to go to the airport with the bag. It was a blur in the dream after that but next thing I know, I freaked out that the bus has left when I returned and I was so worried about the bag and all the stuff my mother-in-law asked me to bring over for Chinese New Year, all the responsibilities entrusted to me, her daughter-in-law... geez, I felt like crying in my dream. Then I woke up. Thinking back, it's so funny, but it didn't seem that way in the dream. The panic was real. haha. Anyway, flying off this week to meet up with my in-laws and welcoming my new baby niece, hubby's second bro's wife is gonna break the record by giving birth to the first baby girl in the Lee (my husband's surname) family in two generations. Will be a Rabbit girl though, as the Chinese New Year of Dragon doesn't start till Jan 23rd. I always have a soft spot for babies, so it's gonna be an interesting joyful Chinese New Year! :-) Will be back in my hometown on Day 3, and plan to see my goddaughters for awhile too, miss them so much. :-) Welcoming end of Winter and beginning of Spring in the Northern Hemisphere. In China, Chinese New Year is also known as the Spring Festival. Happy Chinese New Year 2012 to all who are celebrating, may the Water Dragon year brings lots of joy and peace to the whole world. I know it's New Year for many other Asian countries as well, so Happy New Year to all and happy celebration!!!

Year End Reflection - last post for 2011

It is amazing how fast our brain cells connect. As I lay in bed, with a dizzy spell with a hint of nausea, nope, not pregnant or anything like that YET, my mind quickly travelled back to 1984, early of the year during Chinese New Year. I was at my paternal grandparents house and my grandma was still alive then (she passed away in 1985).

The reason that piece of memory jumped out from the internal brain data search is because my feeling of being unwell now reminds me of how I felt nauseated after my aunt gave me plain water to drink, I asked for a second glass cos I was thirsty and I puked my gut out shortly after that and deemed sick by the adults. Lying in sick bed is not fun at all especially during celebration time.

Beloved hubby is now at my parents' place, lovingly packing dinner from my mother's kitchen for me. My sweet sweet husband.

I count my blessings and am happy with who I have around me, my family and friends and I am not in dire need of material things or hunger for love and attention and my health, despite the minor ailments, I'm generally healthy. Looking at my blessings make me contented and tone down any feelings of envy inside. Humans tend to compare with those who seem better off, that's human nature isn't it?

Of course a perpetual resolve to try to conceive (TTC), is a yearly 'resolution' I try to make to achieve and here I am still childless, at the end of 2011. I am exactly two years past my personal deadline to have a baby by 2009. Deadlines don't work this way, you don't go against fate, or the Malay will say you cannot force blessings or 'rezeki' to be showered upon you. Anyway, my journey of TTC continues to 2012.

I tried to look at the Positive side of being childless for years and finally I am making progress. I am trying to enjoy not having a little bundle of joy around, we can concentrate on our twosome time and trips together, the late night movies and all without having to worry about babysitting. Well at least that's a consolation, right? :)

Happy New Year everyone! If the world is really gonna end next year, let's embrace 2012 and live each day as if it's our last, Live Life to the Fullest!!! Have a blessed year. :)